- Niles: [to Maxwell, about Fran] Well, if I were you sir, I'd do something before she wakes up in the bedroom of another man... sion.
- [Maxwell is reflecting on his predictability]
- Maxwell Sheffield: [after asking Fran if she likes the tie he's wearing] Yes or no?
- Fran Fine: Well, it wouldn't be Monday without your Monday tie.
- Maxwell Sheffield: [ripping off his tie] That's it, it's gone. All right, what else don't you like?
- Fran Fine: I'm not crazy about the pants.
- Fran Fine: [coming to breakfast fully dressed] Good morning everyone.
- Maxwell Sheffield: Miss Fine, why aren't you undressed?
- Fran Fine: You know, I've dreamt of you asking me that question.
- [to the children]
- Fran Fine: Only you guys weren't there.
- [to Maxwell]
- Fran Fine: But Niles was. What that man can do with a feather duster! Don't ever let him go.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [tries to console Fran, who believes her parents are divorcing] Oh, nanny Fine, get a grip. My mother left when I was four.
- Niles: She wanted a girl.
- Fran Fine: Ma, Mr. Sheffield and I aren't even married!
- Sylvia Fine: Are you living together?
- Fran Fine: Yes.
- Sylvia Fine: Are you raising his kids?
- Fran Fine: Yes.
- Sylvia Fine: Are you having sex?
- Fran Fine: No.
- Sylvia Fine: Then you're married!
- Maxwell Sheffield: Just what is your problem Miss Fine?
- Fran Fine: We're in a rut, honey. I mean, Mr. Sheffield. Nothing ever changes around here. I mean, it's Monday morning, which means Miss Babcock has just arrived. She's handing Niles her coat. She's saying 'careful, I just cleaned my fur'. To which he responds 'well, don't cough up any hairballs.'
- [slight pause]
- Fran Fine: And right about now, she's getting even with him.
- Niles: [he lets out a scream, limps in, then talks in a high pitch voice] Miss Babcock is here.
- Fran Fine: Aren't you sick of the same old routine?
- Maxwell Sheffield: I don't have a routine, Miss Fine.
- Fran Fine: Of course you do. I come in here every morning, I sit down, you say I look gorgeous...
- Maxwell Sheffield: Well, I don't do that.
- Fran Fine: Well, start.
- Fran Fine: Yetta! You promised you'd stop smoking!
- Grandma Nettie: She also promised not to eat anything gassy before we left.
- Yetta Rosenberg: Meanwhile, did you get a seat on the Express Bus?
- Maxwell Sheffield: [venting his frustration at his desk to Niles] Can you imagine - Miss Fine thinking I'm predictable!
- [Niles starts to write something on a sheet of paper on the desk]
- Maxwell Sheffield: Me!
- [pause]
- Maxwell Sheffield: Mr...
- Maxwell Sheffield, Niles: - Spontaneity!
- Maxwell Sheffield: Niles, you don't think I'm predictable?
- Niles: [stone-faced, holds up the paper for Mr. Sheffield to see. It reads:] OF COURSE NOT, SIR!
- Fran Fine: [rushes to knock the bathroom door] Daddy! Come outta there! What are you doing in there?
- Sylvia Fine: [the door opens, Sylvia exits, glowing] Me.
- Fran Fine: You guys already started breakfast? Gee, I was gonna suggest we all go out to eat. You know, for a change.
- Maxwell Sheffield: Well, Miss Fine, I would rather prefer to stay at home. You know, Niles is the only one who knows how to make my breakfast just the way I like it.
- Fran Fine: Toast and eggs? Please, Daniel Day-Lewis could make that with his left foot behind his back.
- Fran Fine: [to Gracie] Although who would want to eat it?