- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [about Fran] She thinks you're a killer. She even thought you were trying to kill me.
- Niles: Oh, I wouldn't even dream of touching you, like any other normal man.
- Fran Fine: I think Niles might be a murderer!
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Nanny Fine, Niles would never kill anyone, then he'd make a mess and he'd have to clean it up.
- Fran Fine: [trying to stall] Oh. Look at this. Texas has the death penalty. Boy, they're frying them like chickens down there!
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Nanny Fine, hearing you talk about Niles just makes me want to slam my head against a brick wall.
- [hits her head against the shoulder of Fran's brick suit]
- Fran Fine: Honey, don't scratch like that. People will think you have lice.
- Grace Sheffield: I do. My school sent home a letter.
- Fran Fine: [gasps] You got head lice, at your 14 THOUSAND dollar a year school.
- [Sylvia]
- Fran Fine: Vermin they give you but you still gotta bring your own juice.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [responding to Niles asking her why Fran is acting so weird] Well, have you gotten a load of the birth mother?
- Val Toriello: His room is so small and depressing. No wonder he's always going by your room and looking in. He's envious.
- Fran Fine: No, he's horny.