- Yetta Rosenberg: Thank you for inviting me to your wedding Maggie.
- C.C. Babcock: Yetta, I'm... no.
- Yetta Rosenberg: Did you hear about Miss Babcock and the male maid?
- C.C. Babcock: [stunned] What are you talking about?
- Yetta Rosenberg: Well, Franny and her husband walked in on them while they were doing the horizontal hora.
- C.C. Babcock: Where? Kitchen? Closet? Stairway? Limo? Walmart?
- Yetta Rosenberg: Walmart, huh? If they dig the danger of getting caught, they should try the aluminum sheds at Home Depot.
- C.C. Babcock: [later, on the phone] Niles, they saw us! No. No. No. No, what does it matter where? The important thing is when you get back, I need to pick up something at Home Depot.
- Dr. Hamilton: Mrs. Sheffield, seeing that you had some usually strong Braxton Hicks contractions - it's very common for women over thirty-five under stress - have you been stressed about anything recently?
- Fran Sheffield: You mean besides the fact that you think I'm over thirty-five?