- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Maxwell, everything was perfectly normal. I said to Niles, "I wish I'd gone to England with you." And he said, "Oh, sure. You could have visited your old neighborhood, Stonehenge." And I said, "Oh, you mean the place where the rocks are older than yours?" Which I thought was so clever. And then the scariest thing happened.
- Fran Fine: He had the heart attack?
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: No, not yet. There I was, waiting for a zinger and nothing.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [about Maxwell] What's he doing in London?
- Niles: One would hope Miss Fine.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [sarcastically about Niles' obvious hair dye job] Smart, doing it gradually so no one would notice.
- Niles: Same way you became a woman.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [missing Niles terribly] I know everyone thought Niles and I hated each other but that's the only way I can have a relationship. When you really get to know me, I'm not a well woman.
- Fran Fine: [taking pity on C.C] Aw Miss Babcock Hey, would you like a cup of coffee?
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [takes a sip] That is not coffee, it's gravy!
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [noticing Fran's sympathetic smile] Oh thank you nanny Fine, I miss him so much!
- Val Toriello: It's spring, Fran. Everyone gets a little hot and bothered. You know, the Discovery Channel says it affects all living orgasms.