- Michael: I've never done drugs; never have and never will.
- Ben: Oh really. Am I supposed to believe that?
- Michael: Please! I'm going to be a Tory prime minister. I don't need any hippie baggage in my past.
- Ben: So what were you doing in that girl's house, then?
- Michael: I didn't go for illicit drugs; I went for illicit sex.
- Ben: [gasps] You *are* a Tory!
- Ben: [getting into bed; to Susan] Best part of the day. Apart from the morning pee, of course. Although that's getting harder, you know? I used to stream like the fountain of Trevi, but now I just stand there and let gravity do the work.
- [pause]
- Ben: Is the romance going out of our marriage, Sue? What's wrong?
- Susan: Nothing.
- Ben: Good. You know, in the mornings, I find that if I just rest my head against the wall and lean over, I don't even have to be awake to pee. It's amazing. It just happens. Not bad, eh?
- [last lines]
- [Bex has destroyed the joint]
- Michael: You're really giving it up?
- Bex: Michael, Vickie's friend Julie's brother's mate was ripped off. It's not weed; it's a stupid mix of cinnamon twigs, crushed pepper, mustard seed, and oregano. No-one could possibly get high off that.
- [Ben and Susan are lying on the floor]
- Ben: That's the best I ever had.
- Susan: I am completely wrecked.
- Ben: Mmm, me too. Ooh.
- Susan: I mean, we couldn't leave it lying around the house.
- Ben: Mmm. The things you do for your kids, eh.
- Susan: Do you smell cinnamon?