My Family (TV Series)

Pain in the Class (2000)

Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper

Quotes 

• Susan : It seems Michael's having a bit of a problem with Jason Hodder.

  Ben : Hodder J, the little fat kid who smells like sour milk.

  Susan : No, no, that's Keith Burstall. Jason's the one with the itch.

  Ben : Ooh. Which end?

  Susan : No, that's Lee Matthews. Jason had the head lice. Spread through the school like wildfire.

  Ben : Mmh. I know I never thanked him properly for that. What's he spreading now? Cholera? Typhoid? Distemper?

  Susan : No, this time it's different. He's been picking on Michael. This morning he didn't want to go to school.

  Janey : Who *would* with a disgusting class like that?

  Ben : Yeah, I know. School's meant to be unpleasant. You know, to prepare you for life.

• Susan : Oh my God, my daughter's a thug. That's no way to behave. Did anyone see you?

  Janey : No.

  Susan : Good girl.

• Ben : What's going to happen to little Mikey when Xena Warrior Princess isn't around anymore?

  Janey : Oh, that's sorted. Jason knows if he acts up again the whole school'll find out he was beaten up by a girl.

• Susan : Do you want to tell the boys dinner's ready?

  Janey : That's right, make me the bringer of bad news.

• Ben : Mmm... This is, um... Isn't it? It's really um... It's, what is it?

  Susan : Nepalese Lamb Melange.

  Janey : You said we were having chicken.

  Susan : No, I didn't. I never name a dish until after I've tasted it. Bon appetit.

  Ben : Shouldn't that be 'Bonne chance'.

• Susan : Me? A control freak? All I care about is the happiness of my children.

  Janey : Great! So can I have a tattoo?

  Susan : No.

  Janey : Dad?

  Ben : Only if it says "Daddy's little sunbeam".