My Family (TV Series)

May the Best Man Win (2003)

Siobhan Hayes: Abi Harper

Quotes 

• Abi : [moodily]  Hello, Judith.

  Ben : Firstly, it's "Judas' and secondly, I am not betraying anyone.

• Ben : The, the... the thing is, Abi, er...

  Susan Harper : He's got some news!

  Ben : ...and, er...

  Susan Harper : You're not going to like it very much!

  Ben : Why don't you tell her?

  Susan Harper : No, no, no, no, no! I wouldn't dream of it! I'm not saying a word! My lips are sealed!

  Ben : Good. The thing is, Abi...

  Susan Harper : Your father's getting married again!

  Abi : What?

  Ben : Yes, he's getting married to...

  Susan Harper : ...to a woman named Gina Beresford!

  Abi : I don't believe it! Why does he keep doing this? I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!

  Ben : [Looks at Susan angrily] 

  Susan Harper : Well, you made a complete hash of that!

• Abi : [about her dad]  It's not just because he's getting married. It's because he's a thoughtless pig. Although, pigs do think quite a lot. I hear they're cleverer than dolphins, but they can't swim as well as them, though.

• Susan Harper : Look, Abi, you're an adult now - theoretically - and your father is not your problem any more. He's Gina Beresford's problem.

  Abi : And that's my problem - we went to school together!

  Susan Harper : She's not your age?

  Abi : No. She's three years younger.

  Susan Harper : God! This is starting to sound like 'Emmerdale'!

  Abi : And I bet they're getting married next week!

  Susan Harper : How do you know?

  Abi : Half term.

  Susan Harper : That's it! I think I'm going to be sick!

• Abi : I ain't jumping out a cake at my own father's stag do!

  Nick : Hey, look! My reputation as an efficient party planner is on the line here - and I've only had it a day!