My Family (TV Series)

I Second That Emulsion (2001)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ben : [On seeing Nick taking his clothes off while making breakfast]  Er, Nick... er, what are you doing?

  Nick Harper : Just following the recipe. It's from 'The Naked Chef'.

  Ben : Ah, see, erm... See, Nick, the... 'The Naked Chef' isn't actually naked, see? It's the name of the programme.

  Nick Harper : Oh, I'm willing to go that extra mile!

• Ben : What in the name of Satan are you doing?

  Nick Harper : Tuning the piano.

  Ben : Why don't I go back upstairs, back to bed and hopefully when I wake up, you won't be tuning the piano?

  Nick Harper : Hey! Carry on like that, dad, you'll wish your life away!

  Ben : I've tried wishing, Nick. It doesn't work.

• Nick Harper : You see, I met this bloke in a pub and he sold me this piano tuning gear. Only £80! He said you could make a lot of money with this!

  Ben : Well, he certainly has!

• Nick Harper : Morning, guv'nor! What can I do you for?

  Ben : Great Caesar's ghost!

  Nick Harper : Hello, dad! What are you doing here?

  Ben : I asked you first.

  Nick Harper : No, you didn't.

  Ben : You didn't tell me you were working here.

  Nick Harper : Dad, if I told you every time I got a new job, I'd never have time to work!

• Brian : Why d'you keep calling me Stu?

  Nick Harper : Well, it's short for, erm... for, erm... Stupid.

  Brian : Ah! Cool!

• Nick Harper : [Coming from under the dust sheets]  Hello, Stu!

  Brian : [Startled]  Alright? I didn't see you there!

  Nick Harper : I know. Someone put a sheet over me.

  Brian : Yeah, that was me. Why didn't you say anything?

  Nick Harper : I thought you were tucking me in.

• Nick Harper : So, Stu. How's the decorating going? Not much happening, is there?

  Brian : I don't know. I haven't started yet.

• [Ben is frustrated after Nick has tuned his piano to play one note] 

  Nick Harper : Pretty good, eh?

  Ben : Nick, you've managed to tune the whole piano to play the same note!

  Nick Harper : That's right. Middle C. Perfect!

  Ben : What in the name of all the gods is the point of that?

  Nick Harper : Well, what is the point of a sunset? What is the point of a snowflake? What is the point of a butterfly's wing?

  Ben : You're right. What is the point?