My Family (TV Series)
I Second That Emulsion (2001)
Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper
Quotes
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Janey Harper : I think you're forgetting, Dad, I'm seventeen; I can do what I like.
Michael Harper : Actually, that's not strictly true. You're not allowed to vote, drive a minibus, work in an off-licence, teach scuba-diving or pilot a civil airliner.
Janey Harper : Thanks, Michael. Now run along and count your spots.
Michael Harper : At least my spots are on my face!
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Susan Harper : How are you doing there, Brian?
Brian : [Putting up a shelf] Nearly done, Mrs H.
Susan Harper : You know, Stupid Brian's awfully good at this.
Janey Harper : I wish you wouldn't call him Stupid Brian.
Susan Harper : Sorry. Seems to have stuck. I don't know why.
Brian : D'you know where my screwdriver is?
Janey Harper : It's in your hand.
Brian : Ah!
Janey Harper : OK... But he is very kind.
Susan Harper : Well, you always wanted a pet!
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Susan Harper : Brian... would you like some tea or coffee?
Brian : Er...
Janey Harper : Oh, well done, mum! You've confused him now!
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Susan Harper : So, what do I owe you?
Brian : Oh, don't worry. I don't want anything for this. I just want to help you out.
Janey Harper : No wonder they call you Stupid Brian!
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Janey Harper : Look, dad! Look what Brian's done!
Ben : What? Oh, look! Knocked all the books off the shelf!
Susan Harper : No. He's fixed the shelf.
Ben : What? The shelf that I was going to fix?
Susan Harper : No. The shelf I asked you to fix two months ago, but you still haven't done anything about.
Ben : I was preparing!
Susan Harper : Ben, it's a shelf, not a round-the-world yacht race.
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Susan Harper : Oh. Well, I suppose you can go home now, Brian. We won't be needing you anymore.
Janey Harper : Er, or... you can spend the rest of the day here with me. And the evening. And whatever.
Brian : Ah. I'll just finish up here, then!
Susan Harper : Janey?
Janey Harper : What?
Susan Harper : A word. In the kitchen.
Janey Harper : Er, Brian, mum wants a word with us.
Susan Harper : Alone.
Janey Harper : Well, anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Brian.
Susan Harper : Are you still waxing your lip?
Janey Harper : Er, mum!
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Janey Harper : Brian, are you coming to bed?
Susan Harper : Excuse me, young lady? Are you determined to defy me?
Janey Harper : Well, I haven't given it that much thought.
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Janey Harper : [On seeing Brian open a can of bright pink paint] Are you sure that's the colour you wanted?
Ben : Looks like a tart's boudoir!
Susan Harper : Maybe it'll be completely different once it's up on the wall.
[Brian goes to off to paint the wall - paint is still bright pink]
Ben : Looks like a tart's boudoir!
Brian : I quite like it! It's like Janey's bedroom!
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Janey Harper : What's your problem? Brian's staying!
Susan Harper : Tut! Oh, I don't have a problem with that! It's... it's... it's... it's your father, yes! It... it makes him grumpy!
Janey Harper : He's grumpy, anyway, so why change things? You know what I think, mum? You don't like the idea of Brian spending the night here and you're just thinking up reasons to justify it!
Susan Harper : I don't need a reason - I'm your mother!
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Susan Harper : The point is you can't just invite a boy to stay without checking with us first.
Janey Harper : Fine. Can Brian stay tonight?
Susan Harper : No!
Janey Harper : Why not?
Susan Harper : Because!
Janey Harper : Because? That's not a reason!
Susan Harper : It's a very good reason!
Janey Harper : Er, why?
Susan Harper : Because... we didn't do it in our day!
Janey Harper : Yeah, you did! You're just jealous because you felt guilty about it and I don't!