My Family (TV Series)

Droit de Seigneur Ben (2000)

Daisy Donovan: Brigitte McKay

Quotes 

• Brigitte McKay : Do you know who that is?

  Ben : No. In the chair, Brigitte? I don't, actually, no. One minute, I turn my back. The next minute, there he was - bang! Sprung up like a fungus! That's how I get all my patients.

  Brigitte McKay : He is Lord Whitten, champion of organic farmers everywhere.

  Ben : ...whereas to me, he's simply "lost filling with a receding gum line and breath that could kill a horse".

• Brigitte McKay : Can I just say, Lord Whitten, that I was deeply, deeply moved by your pamphlet on the recycling of faecal waste?

  Lord Whitten : Really?

  Brigitte McKay : Yeah.

  Lord Whitten : Now, you see, *this* is the sort of girl my son should be meeting! Solid! Natural!

  Ben : Are we still talking faecal waste?

• Brigitte McKay : Mr Harper has a daughter!

  Ben : No, I don't!

  Brigitte McKay : Yes, you do! Janey's charming!

  Ben : You don't live with her!

  Lord Whitten : Is she a normal teenage girl?

  Ben : That's a contradiction in terms.

  Lord Whitten : No, no, no... I mean, I mean... er, d-does she have a pierced eyelid?

  Ben : No.

  Lord Whitten : Does she have nails in her neck?

  Ben : Er... not yet.

  Lord Whitten : And has she clipped her personal topiary into the shape of a duck?

  Ben : Erm... I just hope I never find out!

• Brigitte McKay : You're never going to guess who's in the waiting room.

  Ben : Correct.

  Brigitte McKay : Well, if you're not going to try, I'm not going to tell you.

  Ben : Good.

  Brigitte McKay : Lord Whitten's son.

  Ben : [Stands up slowly, angry on realising the same guy might have assaulted Janey]  What?

  Brigitte McKay : Apparently, he broke his tooth on something.

  Ben : Yes - my daughter's bra strap!

• Ben : That boy tried to assault my daughter Janey!

  Brigitte McKay : How could you let her go out with him?

  Ben : You...

  Brigitte McKay : Maybe I should call her and offer my support.

  Ben : No! Don't! Don't do anything ever again! Oh, my God! I promised not to say anything and there I go telling you!

  Brigitte McKay : You couldn't help it! Most men crack under the pressure of my wily interrogation!

  Ben : You only said 'What?'

  Brigitte McKay : I know! It's uncanny, isn't it?

• Ben : Right, it's showtime! Are we numb yet?

  Young Whitten : No, no! You haven't given me my novocaine!

  Ben : Ah, good! So, are we done now?

  Young Whitten : No! Are you crazy? Don't you understand the word 'no'?

  Ben : Me? Didn't you understand the word 'no' when my daughter said 'no'?

  Young Whitten : What is he talking about?

  Ben : Don't play games with me, Toby!

  Young Whitten : I'm not Toby! I'm James!

  Ben : [pause]  You're who?

  Young Whitten : I'm James! James... Toby's brother!

  Brigitte McKay : [pause]  Your father never mentioned James.

  Young Whitten : Yeah, well, he never mentions me at all! I'm not natural enough for his all natural England!

  Brigitte McKay : You don't eat organic?

  Young Whitten : No, no, no, no. I'm gay.

  Brigitte McKay : Gays don't eat organic?