My Family (TV Series)

Ding Dong Merrily... (2002)

Robert Lindsay: Ben Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Janey : [running to the bathroom]  Morning sickness!

  Ben : Morning, sweetheart.

• [first lines] 

  [Ben and Susan are awakened by Nick bouncing on their bed] 

  Ben : Who?

  Susan : What the hell are you doing?

  Ben : It's two o'clock in the morning!

  Nick : Can I open my presents now?

  Ben : No!

  Nick : Oh please, Dad, please. Just one, please.

  Ben : No!

  Nick : Mum, just one. Please!

  Susan : No.

  Nick : Why not?

  Ben : It's December the nineteenth!

• Susan : [about Janey]  How pregnant would you say Janey is?

  Ben : Completely.

  Susan : For God's sakes, Ben. Don't be flippant. Our daughter is pregnant at 19.

  Ben : Where I come from, she'd be called a late starter.

• Susan : So, Janey. What have you been up to?

  [Janey shows her parents that she's pregnant] 

  Ben : I think that answers that question.

• Susan : I don't think I can see a way through this.

  Ben : You can always leave a trail of breadcrumbs.

  Susan : Not the trees. Janey. How can we help her if she won't give us anything? She's like Alcatraz - rocky, distant...

  Ben : ...full of men.

  Susan : I know you're trying to help, but shut up.

• Ben : Michael, don't give him the money.

  Michael : It's all right, Dad; I'm fifteen, and sometimes you treat me like I'm... you.

• Ben : It's Christmas morning, everybody! Great, 40 tons of pine needles on the living room carpet, chocolate raisin turkey on the horizon, and no Christmas pudding. Ha, yeah, what else? Oh, yes. My teenage daughter's up the duff.

  Susan : [singing]  Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.