Kermit the Frog: Okay, time, once again, for that furry, fuzzy, funnyman, fabulous, free-wheeling, fast and frantic Fozzie Bear!
Fozzie Bear: Hey hey hey hey hey! W-wait, wait wait wait, froggy, not so fast. Tonight, I'm going to use your assistance. Yes, sir. You and I are going to tell the world's funniest joke. This is all spontaneous, unrehearsed. Right, froggy?
Kermit the Frog: It's unrehearsed, right.
Fozzie Bear: Okay, okay, okay.
[clears throat]
Fozzie Bear: Now, frog of my heart, you will just wait until I say the word "hear". When you hear me say the word "hear", you will rush up to me and say, "Good grief! The comedian's a bear!"
Kermit the Frog: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
Fozzie Bear: Check.
Kermit the Frog: When you say the word "hear"?
Fozzie Bear: Right.
Kermit the Frog: Gotcha.
Fozzie Bear: Okay. Now then... Hiya, hiya, hiya! You're a wonderful looking audience! It's a pleasure to be here!
Kermit the Frog: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
Fozzie Bear: Not yet!
Kermit the Frog: But you just said "here".
Fozzie Bear: That was the wrong "here".
Kermit the Frog: Which is the right "here"?
Fozzie Bear: The other "hear"!
[sends Kermit off]
Fozzie Bear: Go, go, go. Okay. Hey, hey, folks, this is a story you gotta love to hear!
Kermit the Frog: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
Fozzie Bear: Will you stop that?
Kermit the Frog: But you said "hear"!
Fozzie Bear: Not *that* "hear"!
Kermit the Frog: Well, which "hear"?
Fozzie Bear: Another "hear"!
Kermit the Frog: How'm I gonna know?
Fozzie Bear: You'll know when you hear!
Kermit the Frog: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
Fozzie Bear: [makes an exasperated sound] Alright, listen, you will know when I point to you.
[Kermit goes off-stage grumbling]
Fozzie Bear: Alright, don't grumble.
[clears throat, to audience]
Fozzie Bear: Say, a funny thing to me on the way to the theater. At the stage door, I passed a bunch of Muppet fans and suddenly I hear...
[pause, Fozzie points to Kermit]
Kermit the Frog: Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
Fozzie Bear: [in Italian dialect] No, he's-a not! He's-a wearing' a neck-a-tie!