Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding (2005)
Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger
Photos
Quotes
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[about the "police officer" at a bachelorette party]
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, he's not a real cop. He's a stripper.
Adrian Monk : I don't think so.
Natalie Teeger : Didn't you see his badge? It says "Officer Feelgood."
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Monk, the guy's got dollar bills sticking out of his belt.
[We see a view of the "stripper" and the wad of bills]
Adrian Monk : I thought he'd lost his wallet.
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[after Randy offers to be Natalie's date to the wedding]
Natalie Teeger : Hey, is Parnell still dating that parole officer?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, he married her.
Lt. Randall Disher : I have my own tux and everything.
Natalie Teeger : Ooh, ooh, what about that B-and-E suspect you brought in last week? He was kind of cute.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Not cute enough to make bail.
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[looking at the body fished from the hotel mud bath]
Natalie Teeger : Who is he?
Lt. Bristo : So far he's John Doe. No ID. We figure his wallet's still in the mud bath.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And I'm willing to bet that that is the same green mud you found on the floor of the car.
Natalie Teeger : Is he the driver?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, not likely. According to the coroner, this guy died at least thirty-six hours ago.
Adrian Monk : Captain... he's the wedding photographer! The one that's been missing.
Lt. Bristo : How do you know that?
Adrian Monk : [points] The discoloration on his fingertips. It's caused by developer fluid. I've seen it in other photographers.
[Stottlemeyer chuckles and shares a look with Bristo]
Lt. Bristo : I'm glad he's on our team.
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[seeing an evidence bag in her mother's hand]
Natalie Teeger : Mom, what is that?
Peggy Davenport : Oh, this is the exact shade of red that I wanted for the cocktail napkins. I was planning on showing it to Karen...
Natalie Teeger : Mom, that's misappropriation of evidence! That's a felony!
Peggy Davenport : Well, the old napkins were a felony!
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[Natalie notices Stottlemeyer taking photos]
Natalie Teeger : What are you doing?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Taking pictures. I overheard your mother say that the wedding photographer didn't show up so I volunteered. I borrowed this from one of the crime tech guys.
Natalie Teeger : Why?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Because Randy says he might be able to identify the driver.
Adrian Monk : Did he get a good look at him?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Yeah. Male Caucasian, medium build, red baseball cap, sunglasses. I figure I might develop these tonight, and maybe we'll get lucky.
Natalie Teeger : You're undercover at my brother's wedding?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Look, I'm doing you a favor. It's either this or we file everybody upstairs one at a time.
[changes the subject]
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Smile!
[Monk and Natalie smile as Stottlemeyer snaps a picture of them]
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Natalie Teeger : [standing with her foot on the killer's throat] Stay away from our family. We have enough problems.
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[Randy has been hit by a car]
Natalie Teeger : How's he doing?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : A broken arm. A broken leg. Probably a couple of broken ribs. The suitcase took much of the blow, it could have been a lot worse.
Natalie Teeger : Can he identify the driver?
Capt. Stottlemeyer : He can't even identify me. I'll try again later.
[to Monk]
Capt. Stottlemeyer : What have you got?
Adrian Monk : [points to a spot on the ground] Condensation. The air conditioner was running, and the humidity is what, about 70%? So that car was idling right here for about 20 minutes.
Capt. Stottlemeyer : What, he was waiting for him?
Adrian Monk : From the tire tracks right there, he must have peeled out at full speed.
Capt. Stottlemeyer : What so he didn't even try to brake, or make the turn? Son-of-a-bitch! What happened? He was only here for an hour. Did he piss somebody off?