- Vivian Cavender Harmon: [revealing her gift to Maude] This is the New York Times Maude, from the day you were born.
- Maude Findlay: [pushing the paper away] Oh, isn't that nice.
- Vivian Cavender Harmon: Look, look at it. Here, look.
- [reading some of the details]
- Vivian Cavender Harmon: Calvin Coolidge was president.
- Maude Findlay: [laughing uncomfortably] Calvin Coolidge.
- Vivian Cavender Harmon: Rudyard Kipling has written new book!
- Maude Findlay: [becoming irritated] NEW book!
- Vivian Cavender Harmon: Sirloin steak, twelve cents a pound! You know that this is over HALF A CENTURY old! I mean this is an antique! Look at it. It's all yellow and cracked...
- Maude Findlay: [snapping] VIVIAN!
- Carol Traynor: Oh mother, listen to this. The day you were born, Vitaphone Studios signed Al Jolson for the first talking picture.
- Maude Findlay: Oh my God, I was saying 'Mammy' three years before Al Jolson. I am old, I'm old, I am old. Olde. O-L-D-E. That's how old.
- Maude Findlay: [lamenting her age, as she considers attending a class reunion] I'm old! I'm O-L-D-E! That's how old!