Malcolm in the Middle (TV Series)

Living Will (2005)

Jane Kaczmarek: Lois Wilkerson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Hal continues pretending to have Hysterical Conversion Disorder as he continues using his feet and rips off sheets of toilet paper] 

  Lois : It's been four days, Hal. I tried to be patient, but this has gone one long enough. You have to snap out of it. Look I admit you've been resourceful and you've learned to do so many things. And the Sex has been interesting.

  [She walks in as Hal is now using his feet to pour in some tooth paste on his to his tooth brush to brush his teeth. He raises his brush to do so and she walks into the master bedroom] 

  Lois : But you can't go on living like this. Don't think I don't know what this is all about. You're trying to avoid making this decision. This isn't going to work and frankly this is beneath you. It's the cowards way out, Hal. You don't think I don't like a paralyzed vacation. Everyone waiting on me hand and foot. You know what? It doesn't work that way. You can't keep making up ridiculous illnesses to get out of what you don't want to do.

  [sees Hal pulling out a long thread of dental floss to floss his teeth] 

  Lois : Oh for God's sake. Do you have any idea how insane you're acting? I'm just glad your boys aren't here to see this.

  [sees Hal raise his feet to floss his teeth] 

  Lois : Oh Hal, you changed Jamie's diapers with those feet.

  [she leaves disgusted] 

• [Lois has just picked up a paralyzed Hal from the hospital after another argument between the doctor and the nurse. He's just sitting there as the boys looked] 

  Malcolm : What's wrong with him?

  Lois : The doctors call it Hysterical Conversion Disorder. It's psychosomatic, apparently he's paralyzed from the waist up.

  Malcolm : The waist up?

  [Lois is frustrated as Hal starts squrming around with his feet] 

  Reese : Dad, what is it?

  [Lois taps his head to calm him down. It does the work as his right foot pets her leg] 

  Dewey : I think he's thanking you.