- Jamie Buchman: How do I know you're not some axe murderer?
- Paul: [showing Jamie his hands] Do these look like hands that have ever held an axe?
- Jamie Buchman: How do you know I'm not a married woman?
- Paul: No ring.
- Jamie Buchman: How do you know I'm not a married woman who's just been mugged?
- Paul: Boy. You're making this very hard.
- Jamie Buchman: Well, what would you do if you were at work and some woman walked in with your dry cleaning?
- Paul: I'd say, "Ma, go away."
- Jamie Buchman: [When Paul first asks her out] You do realize if this doesn't work out, I'll have to blow my brains out.
- Paul: Well, just as long as there's no pressure.
- Paul: This is me having a great time.
- Jamie Buchman: Really? And you never been with a man?
- Paul: Why? What did you hear?
- Jamie Buchman: I'm just making sure.
- Jamie Buchman: I miss him.
- Fran Devanow: You were gonna dump him anyway!
- Jamie Buchman: But not until after the holidays!
- Lester: Is there anything special you'd like me to put in your stocking?
- Jamie Buchman: How about $50 worth of quarters to whack you in the head with.