- Radar becomes an aspiring writer after ordering a flier from a comic book, and Hawkeye and B.J. give Frank a surprise birthday present that only he will appreciate.
- Radar takes a correspondence course from Las Vegas Writers' School which Potter thinks is the original shell game, but Radar says he really wants to improve himself. Col. Potter tells him to confine his literary work to a novel and not the Army daily reports. Radar has problems with his LVWS writing assignments because he thinks he needs a wider vocabulary. Frank is very cranky; it is his birthday and no one seems to remember. Frank acts weirder than normal, so BJ devises the perfect, Machiavellian gift...but it may have the power to backfire. Frank is delighted with his gift. Potter tells Radar the first rule of good writing is "Be yourself." Klinger is still on Section 8 Highway and his new idea is to threaten public self-immolation... until Potter changes water into gasoline. Frank blames Radar for "wrecking" Frank's birthday. Writing is safer than Radar's next hobby: magic. Who knows who/what will be next to be wrecked before Radar makes himself disappear?—LA-Lawyer
- Radar takes a correspondence course from Las Vegas Writers' School which Potter thinks is the original shell game (since Radar found the ad on the back of a Superman Comic book. It cost $50 and a $5 student activity fee), but Radar says he really wants to improve himself. Radar starts to write the daily army reports in his new found flowery style, using heavy and big words. Col. Potter tells him to confine his literary work to a novel and not the Army daily reports. Radar has problems with his LVWS writing assignments because he thinks he needs a wider vocabulary. So, Radar reaches out to Hawkeye and BJ to get some of their life's anecdotes that he can use for his homework assignments. Radar explains to them his interest in creative writing as an attempt to improve himself.
Frank is very cranky; it is his birthday and no one seems to remember. He has tapioca pudding on his birthday, but the mess didn't keep any for him. He confiscates the pudding from Igor, but that has flies in it. Frank acts weirder than normal (he even weird out the patients in post op, with stories of how he used to celebrate his birthday), so BJ devises the perfect, Machiavellian gift (he and Hawkeye decide to fight with each other as they know nothing would please Frank more)...but it may have the power to backfire (Frank tells Hawkeye that BJ said that Hawkeye hates to lose. Hawkeye takes it seriously). Frank is delighted with his gift. But the inseparable friends start to fight for real and things get pretty ugly.
Potter tells Radar the first rule of good writing is "Be yourself." Radar was using too many fancy words to make his writing more creative, but Potter counsels him that the fancy words are just not him. Klinger is still on Section 8 Highway. Klinger gets the idea that producing Chinese PoWs earns you points towards a discharge. with his new frock Klinger marches towards a Chinese outpost to get him some prisoners, but they had not seen a woman in a while and Klinger barely escapes with his purity. His new idea is to threaten public self-immolation... Klinger pours gasoline on himself in public and Potter convinces him to come into his office to negotiate. Potter quickly realizes that its water and quietly asks Radar to change the water in Klinger's can to gasoline. In the office, Potter pushes back (saying its not in his power to authorize a discharge and offers a R&R time off in Seoul instead) and Klingers goes back out and pours the "gasoline" on himself only to realize its real gasoline. He runs into the women's shower...
Radar comes into the swamp and patches up things between the 2 best friends (He says that the 2 of them are always best when they are together. They are always there when others need them) and this makes Frank mad. Frank blames Radar for "wrecking" Frank's birthday. Writing is safer than Radar's next hobby: magic. That doesn't work out too well when Radar breaks Frank's watch with a hammer.
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