M*A*S*H (TV Series)
The Longjohn Flap (1973)
Larry Linville: Maj. Frank Burns
Quotes
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Major Franklin Marion Burns : I'm reducing you to Corporal.
The Cook : Are you busting me?
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Yes, and with a corresponding reduction in pay, of course.
The Cook : My invalid wife is dependent on my sending her a few dollars every month, sir.
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Is this the same wife you had when you poisoned me?
The Cook : Yes, sir.
Major Franklin Marion Burns : As I remember, I couldn't punish you then because your wife had just died.
The Cook : Oh, she got better.
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Captain John McIntyre : [Sees Frank in the longjohns] Look at what the giant rodent has on his body.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Supparating pustules, if there's any justice.
[to Frank]
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Where'd you get those longjohns!
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Wouldn't you like to know!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : [picks up empty gas can and prepares to hit Frank with it] Those are MINE, you hermaphordidic weasel!
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Possession is nine-tenths of the law, Pierce. And I'm sleeping with a loaded baseball bat under my pillow, so don't try anything!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : If I didn't think those would keep you warm, Frank, I'd come over there and beat you to a pulp. Say your prayers, Frank, or the tooth fairy may come and knock out all your teeth!