M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Incubator (1973)

Robert F. Simon: Gen. Maynard M. Mitchell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gen. Mitchell : Now just a minute! This is a press conference! The last thing I want to do is answer a lot of questions!

• Gen. Mitchell : I wonder if you doctors understand going through channels, military-wise speaking.

  Trapper : Sir, we started with a captain, went on to a major, then to a colonel.

  Hawkeye : On the way, we've encountered oral compulsiveness, raging paranoia, and a colonel who's shipping Korea to Switzerland one dollar at a time.

  Trapper : Which makes you the next contestant, General.

  Hawkeye : And the subject you've chosen is "Incubators."

  Trapper : And we need one.

• Hawkeye : General, can you tell us why MASH units never get any incubators?

  Gen. Mitchell : [stammering]  Our people have this question under scrutiny at the moment. Now, if this scrutinization should yield negative, then I feel that we must maximize our efforts. Next.

  Hawkeye : Sir, I don't want to minimize your maximize, but why aren't field hospitals properly supplied with incubators? Hospitals which surprisingly attract a great number of wounded people.

  Gen. Mitchell : That question has a lot of buckshot in it.

  Hawkeye : I'm sure the answer will too.

• Gen. Mitchell : Who's your commanding officer?

  Hawkeye : Uh, we'd rather not say. He'd like to go through the war anonymously.

• Reporter : General, what can you tell us about the rumored peace talks?

  Gen. Mitchell : I'm glad you brought that up, and I want to caution you all the press here...that irresponsible leaks in this area may lead this war to a premature peace!

• Bowman : General, today's news handout contains casualty figures and bomb tonnage. Is there anything you can add?

  Gen. Mitchell : No. Only I would add that there's nothing to add.