M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Tell It to the Marines (1981)
David Ogden Stiers: Maj. Charles Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Maj. Charles Winchester : Klinger, any luck with the "Vagner" recordings?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : That's "Wag-ner", can't you read your own writing?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : So far I've got 2 "Homer and Jethro" albums but don't worry - I'm trading up.
Maj. Charles Winchester : You could hardly do otherwise.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Excuse me, may I have an audience with your royal hiney?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Sure, always have time for the little people.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Then let me ask you a little question - what are you doing appropriating government property? He's our company clerk, he's not your Man Friday, or any other day!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Silence, soldier boy! This camp's being run with the utmost of efficiency. Max, have I not seen to the daily reports?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yes, Sire!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Max, have I not seen to the monthly inventories?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yes, Sire!
Maj. Charles Winchester : As you can see, it's 10 o'clock and all's well - therefore, as long as he has the time and I have the money, why should I not enjoy a few of the basic necessities of life?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Silk linen?
Maj. Charles Winchester : Pierce, you may have been swaddled in burlap but a Winchester does not rub elbows with mattress buttons.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Listen silky, there's a Dutch kid in post-op right now with a hell of a lot more to worry about than chafed elbows and I need Klinger to call his C.O.!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Then you shall have him -
[to Klinger]
Maj. Charles Winchester : Max, please place the Captain's call.
[to Pierce]
Maj. Charles Winchester : I'm such an old softy!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Oh thank you, a million thanks your softiness!
Maj. Charles Winchester : Always ready to do a little something for a big nothing.
[to Klinger]
Maj. Charles Winchester : Max, as soon as you've placed the call I'd like to see you in my chambers, there are boots to be blacked!