Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
[Trapper drives a golf ball, which sets off an explosion in the mine field]
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Fore!
[Radar stops in mid-football practice to look out over the hills]
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Here they come!
Capt. 'Spearchucker' Jones : I don't hear nothin'.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Wait for it.
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Maj. Frank Burns : [Frank catches Hawkeye rummaging through his things] What are you doing there?
Hawkeye : Oh, I just wanted to borrow your Bible, Frank.
Maj. Frank Burns : Since when are you interested in the Bible?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : I peeked at the end, Frank. The Devil did it.
Maj. Frank Burns : Shut up! Get off of there!
[grabs Hawkeye and pulls him down off the bed]
Hawkeye : Hey, don't get physical, Frank. You'll blow your sainthood.
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Brig. Gen. Charlie Hammond : [Seeing Margaret Houlihan, with whom he once had a relationship] Hot Lips!
Hawkeye , Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : [Turning to each other] Hot Lips?
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Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Bad news from my wife. She still loves me. Would you believe this? She still thinks I got sent to Korea as part of some secret plot to cheat on her.
Hawkeye : Well, didn't you?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Yeah, but how did she figure it out.
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Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : How are ya, Henry?
Hawkeye : How are ya, Henry?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : That's not what you guys came to ask. I mean, the last thing you wanna know when you say, "How are you?" is how am I.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Seems like a good enough cause. Why don't I trust you guys?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : 'Cause we're not trustworthy.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Yeah, maybe that's it.
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Hawkeye : Hey, Ho-Jon, come here. I got a letter from Dean Lodge.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Is that a good place to stay?