Photos
Quotes
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Maj. Frank Burns : [Frank catches Hawkeye rummaging through his things] What are you doing there?
Hawkeye : Oh, I just wanted to borrow your Bible, Frank.
Maj. Frank Burns : Since when are you interested in the Bible?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : I peeked at the end, Frank. The Devil did it.
Maj. Frank Burns : Shut up! Get off of there!
[grabs Hawkeye and pulls him down off the bed]
Hawkeye : Hey, don't get physical, Frank. You'll blow your sainthood.
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Maj. Frank Burns : Your conduct in there was not only unbecoming an officer, it was equally reprehensible as a medical man!
Hawkeye : Frank, I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party. And as for my ability as a doctor, if you seriously question that, I'm just gonna have to challenge you to a duel.