- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: [trying to get an optometrist for Hawkeye] Now listen, you dumb clerk; this is General Walter O'Reilly, three stars and real mad: If Major Overman isn't here by the time they crack my powdered eggs for breakfast, I'll have you digging a latrine for every GI in Korea!
- Hawkeye: [Pierce, who was blinded earlier in the episode, calls out] Is there a doctor in the house?
- Frank Burns: What is it, Pierce?
- Hawkeye: Oh, Frank, I'm glad you're here - go get a doctor.
- B.J.: [after Hawkeye temporarily lost his sight] You don't want to think about what's going to happen, so you keep running.
- Hawkeye: No, that's not it. That's not it, no. Look. Look. When Doctor Overman comes in here, and unwraps my package, I hope to God I'll have my sight back, but - Something fascinating's been happening to me.
- B.J.: What's that, Hawk.
- Hawkeye: One part of the world has closed down for me, but another part has opened up. Sure, I - I keep picturing myself on a corner with a tin cup selling thermometers, but I'm going through something here I didn't expect. This morning I spent two incredible hours listening to that - that rainstorm. And I - I didn't just hear it, I was a part of it. I'll bet you have no idea that - that rain hitting the ground makes the same sound as steaks when they're barbecuing. Or that-that thunder seems to echo forever. And you wouldn't believe what - how funny it is to hear someone slip and fall in the mud. I bet - It had to be Burns. Beej, this is full of trapdoors, but I-I think there may almost be some kind of advantage in this. I've never spent a more conscious day in my life.
- Frank Burns: Pierce, you disgust me.
- Hawkeye: That's right, Frank. I discussed you with everyone I know. They all think you're disgusting.