- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: [watching Hawkeye and Sidney play basketball without a basketball] Is it any wonder I can't get a section 8? In this outfit, you wanna be crazy you gotta stand in line.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: So you're been walking in your sleep. What do you think it means?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I'm walking, I'm, uh, uh... I'm walking towards something. I'm walking away from something.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: Mm-hmm.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I'm trying to escape.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: In other words, you go to sleep, your subconscious takes a little walk and brings your body along for company.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Yeah, well, I don't seem to be getting very far.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: You're making it all the way back to Crabapple Cove. All the way back to a time when playing ball and shooting marbles and going on picnics were all there was to worry about.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: No more responsibility. No more life and death decisions.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: And pain was a skinned knee.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: What about my nightmares?
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: What about them?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I keep having these dreams about these... these kids I grew up with. And I... The - The dreams start out okay. The kids are fine. And then they end in disaster.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: Like those kids who roll past you on that bloody assembly line. You dream to escape, but the war invades your dream, and you wake up screaming. The dream is peaceful. Reality is the nightmare.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Am I crazy, Sidney?
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: [scoff] No! A bit confused, a little farshimmelt is all. Actually, Hawkeye, you're probably the sanest person I've ever known. The fact is, if you were crazy, you'd sleep like a baby.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: So when do my nightmares end?
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: When this big one ends, most of the others should go away. But there's a lot of suffering going on here, Hawkeye, and you can't avoid it. You can't even dream it away.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: They tell me I've been playing a mean game of zombie basketball.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: They tell me you're been worrying about losing your marbles.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [applauds] Ah, very good.
- Dr. Sidney Freedman: For my next trick, I'll invent sibling rivalry.
- [Hawkeye is playing hopscotch while sleepwalking]
- Radar: Did you lose something, sir?
- Hawkeye: Hi, Stinky.
- Radar: [Radar looks around] Sir, that's the sort of name that kind of sticks with a fellow. I'd appreciate it if you'd just call me by my given nickname.
- Hawkeye: What's cookin', Dexter?
- Radar: If those are my only choices, I guess I'll take Stinky, it's got a little more pizzazz.
- Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Some people have extra sensory perception.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I knew you were gonna say that.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: You ever been afraid to go to sleep at night, Frank?
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: Of course not.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Even as a kid?
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: Well, I had a Popeye night light when I was little. My dad took it away. He said it was dark 12 hours out of every 24 and he wouldn't put up with a son who was a coward half the time.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: He took away your night light?
- Major Franklin Marion Burns: Well, it was no big deal. There's nothing in the dark that's not there in the light.
- Private Burke: Would you believe that two years ago I never even heard of Korea?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Me neither, but then, uh, geography was never my strong subject.
- Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger: [after they put Hawkeye to bed] Come on, Stinky.
- Radar: [Angry] I knew it. I knew it.