- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: [to his hitchhike driver] Would you step on it? I'm about 20 MPH too late.
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Oh! Look what you've done to this place! You've shamble-ized it!
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: I didn't get a chance to tidy this morning.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: How 'bout you, Radar? You alright?
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Huh?... Yeah, I'm OK. I mean, I don't wanna be, but I guess I have to be. I'm the man of the family now.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: That's right, son. And, you're going home.
- [Radar turns around, stunned]
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Go get yourself a DA-7 Hardship Discharge and type your name on it.
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: I'm going home, sir?
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Radar, lord knows your mother is a strong woman, but she won't make it alone. You oughta be there with her.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: You heard him right, Radar. Your time has come.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: I'll notify the Red Cross, and they'll make sure you're processed tout suite. You should be home in time for Sunday night supper.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Save some leftovers for us!
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Home? I'm going home?
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Where you belong.
- Father Francis Mulcahy: Just like that.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Yep, just like that.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Radar, I'm very happy for you.
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Yeah... I'm happy for me, too... I guess.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Either of you seen Radar?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Last I saw him he was in the Officer's Club having a touch of the grape.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Why, what's wrong?
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Just got a wire from the boy's mother in Iowa. Radar's Uncle Ed passed away.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Oy.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Yeah. Oy.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: I thought that damn generator was supposed to be fixed. Klinger, where are you?
- Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger: Hiding from you, sir.
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Listen, let's look for each other back home, okay?
- Lt. Patty Haven: Promise.
- Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Promise.
- [Radar gets up, then leans down and kisses her]
- Maj. Charles Winchester: No, Colonel, no. I despise halibut patties.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: You'll love these, and that's an order.