M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Father's Day (1980)
Mike Farrell: Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : [in the mess tent] Do you realize there are millions of people in Asia with no food - and I'm one of them.
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'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Do you men always dress this casual?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, there's been no formal declaration of war.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : Makes no difference. You're still soldiers.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : How 'bout we all have a drink? It's on me.
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : You fellas don't have a hell of a lot of respect for the army, do you?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Oh, let's not talk shop. I'll have a beer, Colonel. How about you, Hawk?
'Howitzer' Al Houlihan : You're damn lucky to be wearing your country's uniform. How dare you clowns make a mockery of it.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, why shouldn't we be clowns? We're living in a three-ring circus.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Uh, that's one beer, and what are you having, Pierce?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : I think I've had just about enough.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : This is fantastic. There must be enough here for the whole camp.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : We could throw a surprise party in the mess tent.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Yeah.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : It's the last place anybody'd expect to find food.
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Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Oh, you mean to tell me this whole box is full of steak, as in tender, tasty, tempting T-bone?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : From the size, it must be A-to-Z-bone.
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Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : I just got a call. General Beswick's plenty steamed about his plateful of liver. He's got M. P.'s sniffing everywhere. When they show up here, it'll be his cow and our hides.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, we're not giving up without a fight. That's our beef.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : We stole it fair and square.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yeah, I respect your lack of integrity, but what are we gonna do?
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Oh, God, I hope you both are satisfied, you louses. After your little shenanigans last night, my father is packing to leave right now.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Oh. Ha ha.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : We were just trying to be friendly, you know.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Friendly?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Yes. He fired the first shot glass.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : [checking the side of beef, being thawed in the shower] Half an inch. Hee hee hee! At this rate, it'll be ready to cook for dinner.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Boy, talk about wetting your appetite.