M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Fade Out, Fade In (1977)
Harry Morgan: Col. Sherman T. Potter
Photos
Quotes
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Charles : Colonel, I, ah, I think I should tell you, my father knows Harry Truman. He doesn't like him, but he knows him.
Col. Potter : Fine, you have Dad call Harry, then Harry will call me, and maybe we'll work something out. In the meantime, vamoose.
Charles : Alright, Colonel, I am... vamoosing.
[muttering to Radar]
Charles : Fix the phone!
[normal voice]
Charles : But know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Col. Potter : I think he's starting to get the hang of this place.
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Col. Potter : You're staying because I need you.
Charles : [incensed] And if I refuse?
Col. Potter : You'll be making gravel at Leavenworth! Comprende?
Charles : [resigned] Comprendo.
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Col. Potter : [Hawkeye and B.J. learn that Major Winchester has permanently replaced Frank Burns] Would you rather have Burns?
Hawkeye : He was more fun to be cruel to.
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Capt. Schaeffer : [Klinger and Capt. Schaeffer enter Potter's office, presumably to review Klinger's eligibility for a Section 8 discharge] I expected other officers, Colonel... a review board.
Col. Potter : Road apples, Private!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Captain, Colonel.
Col. Potter : Private, Corporal.
Capt. Schaeffer : Private?
Capt. Schaeffer : Well... caught again.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Hold it. Wait... wait... wait a minute. I thought...
Col. Potter : Button it, button it!
Capt. Schaeffer : Let him talk.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : You're my lawyer!
Col. Potter : Your lawyer is a buck private and he's no lawyer.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : I beg your... How's that?
Col. Potter : According to his captain, a *real* captain, Schaeffer here has been bucking for a Section 8 longer than you have! Busted twice. Done four months in the slammer. Has impersonated a doctor, a bombardier, a tank commander, even a chaplain!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : A chaplain!
Capt. Schaeffer : At this very moment, somewhere in America, 25 couples are living in sin.
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Col. Potter : Cigar?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Will it stunt my growth?
Col. Potter : What do you got to lose?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Is it habit forming?
Col. Potter : Nah. I've been smoking five cigars a day for 45 years. Never got the habit.
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Col. Potter : Well, Major Winchester, I can't tell you how happy I am you've decided to join us. And remember, if you ever have a problem, feel free to stop in. My tent flap is always open.
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Col. Potter : Teddy Roosevelt had a transvestite in his outfit. Rode sidesaddle up San Juan Hill.
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : Is that true, Captain?
Capt. Schaeffer : Could be.
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Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : You shyster! Why did you lie to me, get my hopes up?
Capt. Schaeffer : I figured you'd understand, you're my own kind!
Col. Potter : [Potter whistles for the MP's, they enter] He's all yours, boys.
Capt. Schaeffer : Well, hang in there, Klinger!
[begins to leave with the MP's]
Capt. Schaeffer : I was an MP once, too!
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger : I feel like crying.
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Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Colonel Baldwin assured me this is just temporary.
Col. Potter : Is this the same Colonel Baldwin who owes you $600?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : [laughs] Yes.
Col. Potter : Need I say more?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : You mean to tell me that I have to stay here... just because somebody owes me $672.17?
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Col. Potter : Bring me back a Snickers bar.
Radar : With nuts?
Col. Potter : No.
Radar : Milky Way.
Col. Potter : [fidgeting with his teeth] Damn partial.