M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Fade Out, Fade In (1977)
David Ogden Stiers: Maj. Charles Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Charles : Colonel, I, ah, I think I should tell you, my father knows Harry Truman. He doesn't like him, but he knows him.
Col. Potter : Fine, you have Dad call Harry, then Harry will call me, and maybe we'll work something out. In the meantime, vamoose.
Charles : Alright, Colonel, I am... vamoosing.
[muttering to Radar]
Charles : Fix the phone!
[normal voice]
Charles : But know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Col. Potter : I think he's starting to get the hang of this place.
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Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : [of the broken phone] Somebody madder than you got to it first.
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Corporal, I assure you, nobody in Korea is madder than me.
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[Winchester is having his part of the Swamp cleaned by a local]
Korean Woman : Finish!
Charles : You have not done the corners!
Korean Woman : Finish!
Charles : You haven't made my bed!
Korean Woman : Finish!
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Major Winchester, sir, may I ask a question?
Charles : You may.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Could I stop by sometime for a cup of ego?
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Col. Potter : You're staying because I need you.
Charles : [incensed] And if I refuse?
Col. Potter : You'll be making gravel at Leavenworth! Comprende?
Charles : [resigned] Comprendo.
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Col. Horace Baldwin : For the next 48 hours, you belong to a MASH unit that's short a man.
Charles : MASH? That's one of those traveling medicine shows, isn't it?
Col. Horace Baldwin : Right. Grab the next flight to Seoul and get out to Colonel Potter at the 4077th.
Charles : Why send your best doctor into a war zone?
Col. Horace Baldwin : Relax. It's just like two days here... except for the artillery... and the snakes. Better get moving, Winchester.
Charles : Surely you jest.
Col. Horace Baldwin : Surely you *go.*
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Maj. Winchester : [explaining his approach to surgery] I do one thing at a time, I do it very well, and then I move on.
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Charles : [Upon surveying the camp] A charming place, an inflamed boil on the buttocks of the world.
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Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : In this camp, cleanliness is next to impossible.
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Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Colonel Baldwin assured me this is just temporary.
Col. Potter : Is this the same Colonel Baldwin who owes you $600?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : [laughs] Yes.
Col. Potter : Need I say more?
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : You mean to tell me that I have to stay here... just because somebody owes me $672.17?