- Henry's orders to the 4077th to be on their best behavior when General Clayton sends a psychiatrist to evaluate them meet with mixed results. Will the team be broken up and sent to other units?
- Brigadier General Clayton is worried about his favorite M*A*S*H, the 4077. They treat so many casualties, so close to the front; he fears the 4077 is operating under more pressure than it can stand. Gen. Clayton sends a psychiatrist, Capt. Hildebrand, to evaluate the group on the "QT." His report will determine the future of the 4077. Does Henry understand the concept of "QT?" Is Capt. Hildebrand smarter than he looks or does he have his own agenda?—LA-Lawyer
- Brigadier General Clayton charges psychiatrist captain Hildebrand with a confidential mission, only to be confided in CO colonel Henry Blake. He must determine whether the extreme stress of endless surgery under front conditions renders the 4077 staff unreliable, in which case he may recommend transferring them to other MASH units. Hildebrand finds nothing is normal, yet everything functions, albeit never by the book, and ends up joining the drinking just when the general arrives to demand a report and recommendation.—KGF Vissers
- Brigadier General Clayton (Herb Voland) briefs Captain Hildebrand (Anthony Holland), a psychiatrist, on the 4077th. Clayton is sending Hildebrand to the 4077 M*A*S*H unit to assess whether the unit can function as a team. He feels that treating casualties so close to the front might be taking its toll on the people in the unit. He is to recommend if the unit needs to be broken up or remain intact. His briefing serves as an introduction to the main characters. Clayton says that Blake's men are highly devoted to him, and he is highly thoughtful of them. Radar is the company clerk, but it seems like he runs the company. Houlihan is the chief nurse, who has an affair with the ranking surgeon Frank Burns. Burns billets with Hawkeye and Trapper, who are a remarkable pair when together. They are always upto their antics in the 4077. Blake feels that the 4077 is buckling under pressure.
When Captain Hildebrand arrives at the camp, he tells Henry (McLean Stevenson) about the assignment, warning him that it is to be kept a secret. Henry is very upset at the notion of his team being broken up. Even so, he is hard-pressed to explain such things as his dire need for a drink at the moment, and Klinger's (Jamie Farr) cross-dressing. Henry is curious to find out why Clayton is conducting this investigation. Henry arranges a late-night meeting in the shower with Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (Alan Alda) and Capt. "Trapper" John MacIntyre (Wayne Rogers), where he tells them about Hildebrand. They promise to be on their best behavior.
Henry next confronts Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan (Loretta Swit) and Maj. Frank "Ferret Face" Burns (Larry Linville) about the reasons behind Hildebrand's visit. Margaret confesses to sending a report to General Clayton denouncing Blake's command. Henry counters by saying that if the unit is broken up, Frank and Margaret will also be separated. In the meantime, Hildebrand has been following Henry, observing him tipping off the staff as to the true nature of his visit.
The trumpet plays morning reveille. It wakes up the unit. They walk to the mess hall. Margaret, Frank, Hildebrand, Blake, Hawkeye, and Trapper eat breakfast. They try to be nice to one another, but their thinly veiled snide comments and forced attitude belie their discomfiture. Hildebrand observes a number of incidents: While Margaret and Frank have a tryst, Hawkeye and Trapper nail their door shut. Frank and Margaret meet in the women's shower. A male soldier leaves the women's shower carrying his clothes.
Hildebrand gives his report to the officers, telling them they are childish and unprofessional. As he lectures them, they continue their childish, unprofessional behavior. Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff) interrupts them and tells them that there are incoming wounded. They race to the operating room and go into action. Hildebrand watches as the team works together. He starts getting ill at what he sees and retires to the Swamp. He makes himself a drink. When the general arrives, he finds Hildebrand drunk in the officers' tent. Hildebrand gives him the following report: the 4077 are in an impossible situation, doing an impossible job, under impossible conditions, but he does not recommend breaking them up.
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