- Hawkeye is bored and tired, the best time to pen another missive to his father. He describes Klinger's sheer white wedding gown, which does little to hide his white boxer shorts but is better than Hawkeye's naked dining fiasco. There is more fun to be had over Hotlips' recent tiff with Frank; he got drunk on gin and confided that his own brother used to call him Ferret Face. Radar is now a real, honest to goodness mail order graduate. But, Captain Casey, the new boy genius of their surgical team, is not really a doctor; Hawkeye's failure to throw the book at him causes Casey to reassess his career choices: and an R.C. priest named Schwartz is born. Henry conducts the doctors playing and Hotlips singing "My Blue Heaven" but no one is listening. Hotlips is really selling it, but it is hard to get the Army behind any color but olive drab,—LA-Lawyer
- Hawkeye pens another letter to his father, detailing the day-to-day insanity of living in the camp, including a bet with Trapper that nobody will notice if Hawkeye dines naked. A new surgeon, Captain Casey, does brilliant work but has dubious credentials.—N R
- Hawkeye is bored and tired, the best time to pen another missive to his father. He describes Klinger's sheer white wedding gown, which does little to hide his white boxer shorts (HAwkeye advises Klinger to wear a slip under a white wedding dress.. which he got from a mail order catalog) but is better than Hawkeye's naked dining fiasco. Hawkeye dares Trapper that he will walk into the mess tent naked, and no-one would notice. Hawkeye complains that everyone has become a zombie at the camp and nothing fazes anyone anymore, since they all see so much misery anyways on a daily basis. Everything goes well till a GI notices and that leads to wolf whistles and Klinger admonishing Hawkeye for his lack of taste. Hawkeye loses a $50 bet to Trapper.
Father Mulcahy has back trouble which the new surgeon Adam Casey attends to by straightening his spine. Casey is a terrific surgeon that Hawkeye looks upto. The North Koreans have been keeping the 4077 busy with a steady stream of casualties and having an extra pair of hands in the form of Adam was really helpful. Casey admits to Father Mulcahy that he is not really a doctor. Soon, Radar figures out that Casey is a sergeant and has MPs on the lookout for him. Radar tells Hawkeye, who tells Casey not to touch a patient without a license (Hawkeye was about to confront Casey in the mess, but the choppers brought wounded.. So, Hawkeye decides to keep Casey away from the patients in surgery), but encourages him to get one. Casey says he has impersonated a teacher, an engineer, surgeon, he can do it all. He just never had the patience to do it by the book. Hawkeye's failure to throw the book at him causes Casey to reassess his career choices: and an R.C. priest named Schwartz (that is Casey's real name) is born.
Radar has signed up for a correspondence course (from the AAA High school diploma company of Dellavin Indiana) to become a high school graduate. Radar hadn't studied for his exam and hence tried to get Henry to sign his passing certificate. But Henry notices this and refuses to sign his passing papers till he cleared his test. Radar sits for the exam but flunks every question (He had taken a peek at the question paper, but had memorized the answers in the wrong order). Henry does not have the heart to fail him, and passes him regardless. There is more fun to be had over Hotlips' recent tiff with Frank (The King Kong and Fray ray of the 4077); Hot lips sends away Frank when he is only interested in sex, while she wanted to have an intelligent conversation. Frank gets drunk on gin with Hawkeye and Trapper, he stays up all night and wont let Hawkeye and Trapper sleep either and confides that his own brother used to call him Ferret Face. He then falls down drunk.
Its the charity talent night. Father Mulcahy performs on the piano. Henry conducts the doctors playing and Hotlips singing "My Blue Heaven" but no one is listening. Hot Lips is really selling it, but it is hard to get the Army behind any color but olive drab
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