M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Alcoholics Unanimous (1974)
William Christopher: Father Francis Mulcahy
Photos
Quotes
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Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : [Drunk, trying to give a temperance sermon in the mess tent] It's rather warm in here. Radar, would you open one of the stained glass windows?
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Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Ain't you gonna say anything about my outfit?
Hawkeye : Later.
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : Say something nice about his gloves.
Hawkeye : Huh?
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : [whispering] Gloves.
Hawkeye : Oh. Uh, I love your gloves, Klinger.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Sears catalogue. They were having a white sale. You trace your hands on a piece of paper to give 'em your right size however if you want the black ones which aren't on the white sale you really don't care, do you?
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Frank : Have you ever given a lecture on temperance, Father? On the evils of drink?
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : Well, no I haven't. But on the troop ship I was asked to give a lecture on uh, the sex thing.
Frank : Good!
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : Well... being celibate, I didn't feel qualified. They called in a Protestant. He had a film. About two sailors. One was from Cleveland, ostensibly, and the other from a small rural area. The city boy decided to stay on his ship and write his high school sweetheart, a lovely young girl, with a megaphone on her chest.
Frank : Father, please. This is important.
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : ...The country boy got mixed up with a young lady who lived in a trailer with three other young ladies and... a man with a whip.
Frank : Father...
Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : Broke his wristwatch and everything.
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Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy : [Still drunk, after his temperance lecture falls apart] Have I ever told you folks the one about the prodigal son?