- Detective Robert Goren: This must be some kind of situation you've got on your hands.
- Stuart Gaston: Why do you say that?
- Detective Robert Goren: Well, you've loosened your tie, you've got a drink on your desk, you've got three phone lines blinking, and you're chewing the inside of your cheeks like some kind of frantic chipmunk.
- Detective Robert Goren: [pauses, Stuart looks flustered] Are you under a lot of stress?
- Detective Robert Goren: We are - discreet - with innocent victims... if they behave like innocent victims.
- George Weems: He called me. He said his name was Jean, that he saw me in this Gilbert and Sullivan thing, and that he wanted me to play some Brit Eurotrash, Lord Pembridge.
- Alexandra Eames: For what? A movie?
- George Weems: Performance art. Improvisational.
- Detective Robert Goren: Who were the other actors?
- George Weems: I don't know. I was meeting them today.
- Alexandra Eames: Where was this performance to take place?
- George Weems: In real settings. They were picking me up and driving out to JFK, and it was gonna go from there. Jean said they had a room for me at the St. Francis. That if anybody asked, I was Lord Pembridge.
- Detective Robert Goren: And you thought you were part of the performance.
- George Weems: Yes.
- Detective Robert Goren: [Sardonically] It never occurred to you that something illegal was afoot?
- George Weems: I'm an actor. I'm constantly broke. It was a couple of nights at the St. Francis. It sounded like fun.
- Detective Robert Goren: Fantastic.
- Detective Robert Goren: Lord Pembridge?
- Alexandra Eames: Could we speak to you for a minute?
- George Weems: Well... dear, I don't know what for.
- Alexandra Eames: It's about some packages that were delivered to you.
- George Weems: Packages? I wouldn't know anything about packages.
- Detective Robert Goren: Where are you from, Lord Pembridge?
- George Weems: From? Ah, my family's estate is just outside a little town called Leeds.
- Detective Robert Goren: "A little town called Leeds." And what's the purpose of your visit here?
- George Weems: Pleasure. And friends.
- Alexandra Eames: What friends?
- George Weems: Oh, well, I just had a dinner for Mick and the boys. Sent them off on their world tour. And then I saw Gwynnie and Hugh. Lovely people, just lovely.
- Detective Robert Goren: Cut it out.
- [to Eames]
- Detective Robert Goren: Isn't that the worst English accent you've ever heard?
- Alexandra Eames: Next to the Irish Spring guy, it's the worst accent, period.
- George Weems: I beg your pardon!
- Detective Robert Goren: This mishmash of Cockney, Welsh, but miraculously I think I heard a shred of the north of England in one of your R's.
- Alexandra Eames: There are so many sounds in there, how can you tell?
- George Weems: Really, you are absurd.
- Detective Robert Goren: I don't think he's trained.
- George Weems: [dropping the accent] Well, of course I'm trained, with Strasberg himself. I suppose you went to Yale. Now, are we gonna play this or what?
- Alexandra Eames: [reaching for her handcuffs] No, we're gonna play this.
- George Weems: Is that a real gun? Oh my God, you're really cops, aren't you?