King of the Hill (TV Series)

The Perils of Polling (2000)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Quotes 

• Hank Hill : Oh my God! His handshake, it was limp!

• [at George W. Bush's fundraiser] 

  Luanne Platter : He's even more handsome than his dad.

  Hank Hill : Well, Barbara's a handsome woman.

• Hank Hill : I just think if you don't read the papers and the only TV you watch is the MTV, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

• Hank Hill : Now, did you send in those voter registration forms I gave you on your eighteenth birthday?

  Luanne Platter : No, but that's okay -- I'll just vote for President next year.

• Hank Hill : With voter turnout at all-time lows, not voting makes me more American.

• [Hank is watching a video of a man shaking George W. Bush's hand] 

  Hank Hill : See that guy's reaction when Bush shakes his hand? Surprise, then disappointment. Surprise, then disappointment.

  Peggy Hill : Sure, but when I want to watch "Scent of a Woman", you don't even know how to work the VCR.

• Hank Hill : This man could be the next leader of the free world. We're gonna have nutjob Third World dictators walking all over us when they find out the man in charge doesn't have a strong enough finger to push the button.

• Peggy Hill : Who is it, Hank?

  Hank Hill : The Manger Babies. I'll get rid of them.

  Luanne Platter : [as Sir Reginald]  Cheerio. We were wondering if you would vote for Robert Parigi of the Communist Party U.S.A. for President, what what?

  Hank Hill : You don't know the first thing about Communism.

  Luanne Platter : What's to know? Robert Parigi's got the cutest little eyes and the prettiest eyebrows.

  [as Sir Reginald] 

  Luanne Platter : So can I tell Robert he can count on your vote?

  Hank Hill : No, you cannot! I hate Communists! All they do is boss people around!

  Luanne Platter : Sounds like you, Uncle Hank.

  Hank Hill : Luanne, please go home before I tell you you're acting like an idiot and make you cry.

  Luanne Platter : [as Obadiah]  Eee-yaa! You're a Communist! Eee-yaa!

  Hank Hill : No, I'm not!

  Luanne Platter : [as Sir Reginald]  Welcome to the Party, mate!

  Hank Hill : Get that penguin back here! I'm not done!

  Luanne Platter : [as Obadiah]  Eee-yaa! Power to the people, Comrade!

  [as Sir Reginald] 

  Luanne Platter : I say, you look good in red, Comrade Hill!

  Hank Hill : All right, I gave you fair warning. Luanne, you're acting like an idiot.

  Luanne Platter : [crying]  Oh, no! Oh, Uncle Hank!

• [the guys in the alley are watching Luanne put up a "Vote Communist" political sign] 

  Dale Gribble : Well, I see you got Luanne involved in politics. That's good.

  [beat] 

  Dale Gribble : Ass.

  Luanne Platter : [chanting]  The people united shall never be defeated.

  Dale Gribble , Bill Dauterive : Boo! Boo!

  Dale Gribble : Commie, go home!

  Luanne Platter : Okay.

  [she confidently strolls back to her house] 

  Hank Hill : I just think that if you don't read the newspaper and the only TV you watch is the MTV, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

  Bill Dauterive : Stop fighting the last war, Hank! Women got the vote and there's nothing we can do about it.

  Dale Gribble : Unless...

  Hank Hill : Unless what?

  Dale Gribble : I don't know. You're a smart guy. You'll figure something out.

• Hank Hill : [Trying on a hat]  I look like a jackass.