King of the Hill (TV Series)

Patch Boomhauer (2003)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Quotes 

• Hank Hill : hank Hill, Best man, Strickland Propane. When people get married, as these two plan tomorrow. You've got to act right. You've got to have commitment, devotion, trust. You can't be fooling around, and you surely can't be...

  Katherine : [taps on her glass, interrupting Hank]  There is something I have to say. When Patch fisrt asked me to marry him, it was a dream come true. But when I got here, I realized how much patch reminded me of Boomhauer, and that I might be trying to recapture something I lost. and then, Boomhauer hired a bunch of prostitutes to make me think, that Patch was some kind of pervert, and I hated him for it.

  [Hank desperately tries to regain everyone's attention by tapping his glass again] 

  Katherine : But it was that desperate, crazy romantic move, that made me realize, maybe there's something still between Boomhauer and me. I'm sorry, Patch, I cannot marry you.

  Patch Boomhauer : Now hold on, baby, dear God no man. It was all me, yeah all me. talking about frequent buyer, been spending Thanksgiving with those hoes man.

  [everyone in the restaurant gasp in shock] 

  Nancy Hicks Gribble : oh my.

  Katherine : You're the one, who hired those strippers?

  Patch Boomhauer : dang straight, baby, Dang ol' hopeless romantic.

  Katherine : huh, no. BOOMHAUER HIRING THEM, BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STAND TO SEE US TOGETHER, IS A GRAND, ROMANTIC GESTURE. YOU HIRING THEM IS... JUST PLAIN SLEAZY!

  [angels takes off wedding ring and puts it in Patch's hand] 

  Katherine : IT'S OVER PATCH.

  [walk out with here head held high] 

  Patch Boomhauer : dang ol' no baby, talking about not me. Talking HANK, DANG OL' HANK LOVES HOOKERS MAN!

  [chases after Katerine] 

• Boomhauer : Man, it's just, it dang ol' complicated, you know, man, like a dang ol' Rubik's cube, man. Talkin' like blue, red, man then you get the one side and then like messed, messed up the other side, man.

• Hank Hill : Oh God! Patch knew all along.

  Boomhauer : Dang 'ol yeah, man. Man, talkin' 'bout don't get hurt fallin' off them dang 'ol high horse, man.

• Hank Hill : Do you love Katherine Hester?

  Boomhauer : Yo, man.

  Hank Hill : And does the thought of Patch marrying her tear you up inside?

  Boomhauer : Yo, man.

• Boomhauer : You know, I talk, we talk 'bout destiny an' big ol' dipper, man, you know. Well I'm just like a, like a dang ol' north star, man. I'm always gonna be there, man. You know, like a dang ol' GPS, Hertz gold, man.

• Boomhauer : Good ol' Hank, man, you know, talkin' 'bout like them dang ol' day might never, not ever come, you know, but if it do, man, you know, I, you know, man, I might be puttin' a little call on, on you, man.

  Hank Hill : Boomhauer, I'd be honored.