- Dale Gribble: In the Middle Ages, there was an orderly procedure for the dispensation of the wife unlike in today's gynocracy. Ownership goes from the son to the dog to the best friend. Bobby's too young, Ladybird's too old I already own a wife Boomhauer doesn't have the time so Bill, this could be your in.
- Bill Dauterive: Don't worry Peggy, I'll take care of you.
- Peggy Hill: That is as unnecessary as it is repulsive.
- King Philip: [in British accent] "Department of Labor, OSHA"
- [British accent slowly becoming Texan drawl]
- King Philip: "Texas Workforce Commission"?
- [full American accent]
- King Philip: Crap! I'm gonna lose my Faire. I don't want to go back to selling real estate!
- Oxcart-Driving Minstrel: King Philip, my liege, I bring a merchant who wishes to display his wares.
- Hank: Hank Hill, Strickland Propane.
- King Philip: Ah, so you are Keeper of the Flame.
- Hank: Uh, Assistant Keeper of the Flame.
- Dale Gribble: [dressed in a Starfleet uniform] The Prime Directive has been breached! Women's Liberation has happened too soon! I must warn the future!
- [Dale wriggles his hands up and down his body, imitating being "beamed up"]
- Bill Dauterive: Take me with you! I hate it here.