Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Singing for Emmet (1991)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

9 more photos

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : Rose! Have you been drinking?

  Rose : I haven't been drinking. I took a pill. And it seems to have gone straight to me knees.

  Hyacinth : I wish you could say the same about your skirt.

• Hyacinth : Judging by the length of the skirt, it must be Rose under that veil!

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : [answering the telephone]  The Bouquet residence; the lady of the house speaking.

  Hyacinth : Do I sound like a Chinese takeaway?

  Hyacinth : I am a highly desirable private residence in an area of outstanding natural property values. And I'm waiting for your apology. Unless of course the thought of bean shoots and crispy wonton have totally stir-fried your basic humanity. And kindly clear this line. There are people of substance in this community who are probably queuing to ring me at this very moment.

  Hyacinth : Your suggestion is noted, but I see little practical merit in having the telephone up my jumper.

• Hyacinth : [holding up two dresses]  Which shall I wear, dear?

  Richard : Oh, I wish you wouldn't give me that kind of responsibility.

  Hyacinth : You know I value your opinion, Richard.

  Richard : Since when?

  Hyacinth : I'll wear this one.

  Richard : Glad I sorted than out for you.

• Hyacinth : Richard, how do I look, dear?

  Richard : I keep seeing you as a kind of recurring motif running through my early retirement.

  Hyacinth : That's nice, dear. And the hat? How's the hat?

  Richard : Yes, that too.

• Rose : [Drunkenly, as Hyacinth tries to restrain her]  I want to be a nun! Put me down; I want to be a nun!

  Hyacinth : Richard, give me a hand!

  Richard : Funny how you mishear things. I could have sworn she said she wanted to be a nun!

  Rose : I do! I DO!

• Hyacinth : [She and Richard are struggling, and failing, to keep a staggering Rose upright]  Try to stay on your feet!

  Rose : [Drunkenly]  Knees! If I'm going to be a nun, I should be on me knees!

  Richard : It's ME who'll be on my knees!

  Rose : Oh! Richard wants to be a nun, too!

• Hyacinth : Where exactly are you going? Is it far?

  Elizabeth : No, not far...

  Hyacinth : That's very mysterious! Is it a very interesting "not far"?

• Hyacinth : I will not have a sister in black wobbling into our church!