Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Let There Be Light (1993)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : What a dinky little car! I expect it's very economical.

• Hyacinth : What about this new interest of his? The Workers' Revolutionary Vanguard. Is it really suitable, do you think? With Sheridan's education and background, surely he ought be in the Executives' Revolutionary Vanguard.

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : Good-bye, Sheridan! I do wish he'd reconsider wearing a vest. I used to so enjoy ironing his little vests.

  [turns] 

  Hyacinth : Ah, the postman.

  The Postman : Good morning, Mrs Bouquet, ah, Bucket... ah, Bouquet.

  Hyacinth : That was Sheridan.

  The Postman : Oh, really?

  Hyacinth : My son.

  The Postman : Oh, Sheridan Bouquet.

  Hyacinth : Exactly. He's at university, you know.

  The Postman : No, I didn't, actually.

  Hyacinth : They grow up so quickly. Do you have children?

  The Postman : Uh, seven.

  Hyacinth : Seven!

  The Postman : [counts on his fingers]  Yeah.

  Hyacinth : Quite an achievement when you have to be up so early. It's a mercy you're on foot and not on a bicycle.

• the Vicar's wife : [coming outside]  Ah, I thought I heard a car!

  Elizabeth : Two volunteers to lend a hand.

  the Vicar's wife : That's most kind of you, Liz and Emmet.

  Emmet : Absolutely no problem. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house. Now, you tell us what you'd like us to do, and we'll...

  [sees Hyacinth approaching] 

  Emmet : ... leave immediately!

  Elizabeth : We can't leave now!

  Hyacinth : Oh, it's Liz and Emmet! We thought you might be the Drummonds. The Drummonds from the Grange, you know. They're coming. Perhaps I ought to wait out here to meet them.

  the Vicar's wife : What a good idea!

  Emmet : Yes! Excellent! Why don't you stay out here to meet them.

  Hyacinth : Well, I think I ought.

  Elizabeth : [whispers]  You can't leave her standing out there.

  Emmet : Yes I can!

• Richard : [driving to church hall]  Why did you tell the vicar's wife I was good at electrics?

  Hyacinth : Because you are, dear! You always know where the fuse box is.

  Richard : In my own house. But after that, I'm electrically derelict!

  Hyacinth : Nonsense, Richard. I'm sure if you put your mind to it... mind the cyclist!

  Richard : Never mind the cyclist, I'm probably going to electrocute the Vicar!

• Richard : I'm not even dressed for doing electrics.

  Richard : Nonsense, dear, you're perfectly dressed. Do you think I'd allow you out in public if you weren't reasonably dressed?

  Richard : Being reasonably dressed isn't really the point. Electrical people usually wear overalls!

  Hyacinth : [horrified]  Richard! Do keep your voice down, dear! I will not have you spreading rumors that I might be married to someone who wears overalls.

• Hyacinth : Apparently they're having trouble with the electrics in the hall.

  Richard : What's that got to do with me?

  Hyacinth : Well, I said you'd have a look at them.

  Richard : Me? But what do I know about electrics?

  Hyacinth : Now, Richard. You repaired our Christmas tree lights.

  Richard : All I did was to tighten one of the bulbs...

  Hyacinth : Ah, but you were clever enough to track down which one it was.

• Rose : He's been on guard outside the house, all morning.

  Hyacinth : What a sense of duty Daddy has.

  Daisy : He shot fifteen people with me yard brush!

  Hyacinth : Well I doubt if YOU were planning to use it.

• Hyacinth : [to Mrs. Drummond's labradors]  Now dogs, let's have no unpleasantness. Remember where you are.

  [they bark aggressively and she runs to Onslow's car] 

  Hyacinth : Onslow, you're familiar with dogs...

  [Onslow's dog barks and she runs] 

  Hyacinth : Where are they? Perhaps they're in the church. Onslow in the church without a shirt!

  [prays] 

  Hyacinth : Oh Lord, don't let them see his big tattoo! And if they should catch a glimpse, let the light be dim enough for them to think it might be Goliath in a stained-glass window!

• [last lines] 

  Emmet : There you are, Richard! I've only just heard that you've been very busy mending the electrics. How's it going?

  Richard : I'm finished, now.

  Emmet : Hidden talents, eh? You're a dark horse, Richard!

  Richard : Well, you know how it is.

  [grabs the switch] 

  Richard : Now, is everybody ready?

  Michael the Vicar : This is like the switch on in Regent Street at Christmas!

  Onslow : Hang on. Let's do it properly. We ought to have a countdown.

  Emmet : Good idea! Ten...

  Emmet , Onslow , Michael the Vicar : Nine... eight... seven... six... five...!

  [Richard throws the switch and every electrical fixture in the church hall blows up. Daddy evacuates everybody as the front door of the church hall is blasted open, and Hyacinth runs to Richard] 

  Hyacinth : Richard! What's happened?

  Richard : I think I'm better with Christmas tree lights!