- Nina Van Horn: Honesty is one of those things people say they want, but they really don't, like education or children.
- Nina Van Horn: [finds a pill on the floor] Hello, old friend.
- [puts pill in mouth, then spits it out]
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, dammit! It's a Tic-Tac!
- Nina Van Horn: I don't like walking. It's so pedestrian.
- Maya Gallo: You're walking.
- Nina Van Horn: God gave us feet for three reasons: to be massaged, pedicured, and tied to the other end of the bed.
- [Maya distracted Nina while she was walking across the street by pointing out a street juggler and now she's in a cast]
- Nina Van Horn: Little tip: never yell, 'Look, he's got six balls!' at someone who's about to step off a curb.
- Dennis Finch: Check it out, my Planet of the Apes collection is almost complete.
- Jack Gallo: You know, I don't get that movie. Are the lady apes supposed to be sexy?
- Dennis Finch: I don't think so.
- Jack Gallo: Yeah, neither do I.
- Vicki Costa: Can I come in?
- Jack Gallo: Sure, unless you think I'm being too pushy or bloated.
- Vicki Costa: I didn't say bloated.
- Jack Gallo: It was implied.
- Jack Gallo: All of the great captains of industry are doing it.
- Dennis Finch: Kirk, Kangaroo, Crunch... although technically, Crunch is a Cap'n.
- Jack Gallo: [takes Dennis' action figure] Tell me what you really think or Dr. Zaius gets it.
- Dennis Finch: Please don't hurt my monkey.
- Jack Gallo: It's Fashion Week. Nina, I'm sure you're looking forward to all those parties.
- Nina Van Horn: I resent that. Just because you flatline at a couple of parties they label you a party animal.
- Jack Gallo: I want you to be honest. Really let me have it.
- Maya Gallo: Well, you can be pushy.
- Jack Gallo: There you go.
- Vicki Costa: And you're self-centered.
- Jack Gallo: That's it.
- Elliot DiMauro: [stands up and slams hand on table] You belittle me!
- Jack Gallo: Okay...
- Elliot DiMauro: I give and give and you never give anything back!
- Jack Gallo: All right, Sally, take a Midol.
- Dennis Finch: He's trying to take away what I love the most: serving him. He's hoping I snap and come crawling back. He's a diabolical genius that one, like Dr. Frankenstein or Katie Couric.
- Maya Gallo: [finds Nina still on the floor] Oh, Nina! Were you there all night?
- Nina Van Horn: I think I blacked out a couple of times.
- Maya Gallo: Oh, I'm so sorry... Wait a minute. If you have been there all night, why is there fresh ice in that glass?
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, kiss my ass, Nancy Drew!