- George Jefferson: Hey, Weez. I heard this great joke today about a bus weigh.
- Louise Jefferson: What's a bus weigh?
- George Jefferson: Depends on how many people are on it.
- [George laughs, Louise is silent and unamused]
- George Jefferson: Don't you get it, Weezy? Depends on how many people are on the bus.
- [George laughs again]
- Louise Jefferson: [sarcastically] Yeah, George. That's a riot.
- George Jefferson: I knew you'd like it.
- Louise Jefferson: Forget it. I'm not doing the newsletter.
- George Jefferson: What? You didn't turn it down, did you?
- Louise Jefferson: No, Mrs. Blanchard gave the job to Helen.
- George Jefferson: Helen? Helen Willis?
- Louise Jefferson: I only know one Helen.
- George Jefferson: Yeah, one too many. How'd she get into this?
- George Jefferson: [to Louise] You got a lot more brains than Helen. She didn't even have enough brains to marry one of her own kind.
- George Jefferson: [to Helen, on the phone] Hello. Jefferson residence. Oh, it's you. Yeah, she's here, but she don't want to talk to you. Buzz off, turkey!
- George Jefferson: Look, Weezy, this morning you really wanted that job, right?
- Louise Jefferson: I know, but...
- George Jefferson: And if it wasn't for Helen, you would've had it, right?
- Louise Jefferson: Well...
- George Jefferson: And what does she do? She comes sneaking into your apartment, right?
- Louise Jefferson: Right.
- George Jefferson: And kisses up to your friend, right?
- Louise Jefferson: Right.
- [doorbell rings]
- George Jefferson: And steals your job, right?
- Louise Jefferson: Right!
- George Jefferson: Now that's wrong, right?
- Louise Jefferson: Damn right!
- [Louise answers the door and sees Helen and Tom]
- Helen Willis: Hi, Louise. I...
- Louise Jefferson: BUZZ OFF, TURKEY!
- [Louise slams the door]
- Helen Willis: Was that Louise?
- Tom Willis: It was Louise's body, but it sounded like George's mouth.
- Helen Willis: What was that all about?
- Tom Willis: Yes, George. What's going on?
- George Jefferson: You two know damn well what's going on.
- Helen Willis: We do?
- George Jefferson: Come on, come on. Don't even try to play dumb.
- Helen Willis: Why? You've been doing it for years.
- Florence Johnston: Hi, I'm back.
- George Jefferson: Who cares?
- Florence Johnston: Wait 'til you see the new dress I got...
- Tom Willis: Who cares?
- Florence Johnston: Child, I found this down...
- Helen Willis: Who cares?
- Florence Johnston: Well, I thought y'all would like to see my new dress.
- George Jefferson, Tom Willis, Helen Willis: WHO CARES?
- Florence Johnston: [tearfully] I do, that's who.