I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)
To Kill a Mocking Alan (1997)
Simon Greenall: Michael
Quotes
-
[ex-soldier Michael has set up a display board with plastic letters reading 'AN AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE WITH SUE COOK'. But she has just pulled out of it]
Michael : So, uh, do you want us to take out Sue Cook for you?
Alan Partridge : God, no!
[realising Michael means taking her name off the board, not assassinating her]
Alan Partridge : Oh, I see. Er, yeah.
-
Michael : If you ever find yourself in a situation with a concealed weapon, right, what you wanna dee is, when you draw your weapon...
Alan Partridge : It's great, this. I love this.
Michael : It's nae laughing matter. When you draw your weapon, right...
[mimes pulling out a handgun]
Michael : Draw your weapon, make it as smooth as you possibly can. So, draw, hold, fix and fire, and then just move and fire!
[he moves across the hotel reception area firing his imaginary gun and Alan copies him]
Michael : And move and fire! And move and fire! And move and fire!
[Lynn comes around the corner and into their imaginary line of fire]
Alan Partridge : Get back in the lift, Lynn!
[Lynn runs back into the lift, Alan and Michael continue their imaginary gun battle]
Michael : Reload!
Susan : MICHAEL! What do you think you're doing?
Michael : [goes back to the job he was doing before] I'm sorry.
[Alan and Michael look like two children who have just been told off]