I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)
Bravealan (2002)
Simon Greenall: Michael
Photos
Quotes
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[Alan and Michael are talking about dolphins, Alan has just made a dolphin noise]
Michael : Ah can dee a whale - "Oooooooooh!"
Alan Partridge : No, that's a homosexual.
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Alan Partridge : Are you wearing Lynx?
Dan Moody : [lifts his arm] Well smelt. Voodoo.
Alan Partridge : [lifts his arm too] Java.
[they shake hands]
Alan Partridge : Alan Partridge.
Dan Moody : Dan Moody.
Alan Partridge : Pleased to meet you.
Michael : Ah wear Tommy Hilfinger.
Alan Partridge : It's "Hilfiger".
Michael : No, it says "Hilfinger" on the bottle.
Alan Partridge : Did you buy it down the market?
Michael : Aye.
Alan Partridge : Ah, that explains it.
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Alan Partridge : [in the petrol station] Chap there parked on the wrong side of the pumps. Amazing, the number of people who still think that the petrol cap to a Ford Focus is on the offside rear.
Michael : When will they learn?
Alan Partridge : You know what that is, Michael? It's saaaad.
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Michael : I believe in reincarnation, like. I, I'd like to come back as a animal, like a, a dolphin.
Alan Partridge : [sceptically] Dolphins are quite intelligent, Michael.
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Michael : Nice Lexus.
Dan Moody : Yes, I love Lexi.
Alan Partridge : Yeah, I always have a thing I say about Lexus, it's like the, er, the
Alan Partridge , Dan Moody : Japanese Mercedes.
Dan Moody : Yeah, well, I hate Mercs. People who drive them are just sa-a-ad.
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Michael : I could do you a cup of beans.
Alan Partridge : A cup of beans?
Michael : Have you never had a cup of beans, man? Oh, aye, aye, you're in for a treat here!
[Alan tries to follow Michael into his house]
Michael : No, stay there!
Alan Partridge : [stepping back out onto street] Yeah, right.
[Alan waits outside. A man walks out of the house. Then Michael returns with a mug]
Michael : There you go. As ordered, one cup of beans. And I've put a sausage in and all. So, it's a Michael special.
Alan Partridge : Marvellous. Lovely. It's like, sort of, like a savoury 99.
Michael : Aye, aye! You use the sausage for to scoop the beans oot.
Alan Partridge : Oh, I see, yeah. Have you got a spoon?
Michael : No.
Alan Partridge : You haven't got a spoon?
Michael : There's one in the bathroom, but I've no cause to use it.