I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Alan Attraction (1997)

Colin Farrell: Martin

Quotes 

• Alison : Any more news, Alan?

  Alan Partridge : Er, no, just: second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow and, um... and who left this coffee cup here?

  Jason : Sorry, Alan, I meant to clean it last night.

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, well, that's not good enough. You're sacked.

  [the others laugh, thinking it's a joke] 

  Jason : What?

  Alan Partridge : I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. The plague started from a mal-attended surface.

  Martin : What are you doing, Alan?

  Alan Partridge : You're sacked too.

  Martin : Why?

  Alan Partridge : Because... because you do this all the time.

  [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes] 

  Martin : What?

  [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself] 

  Alan Partridge : See, you did it again! Yeah, you're definitely sacked. Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant...

  Alison : Are you sacking me as well?

  Alan Partridge : Yes, I am.

  Alison : You rotten shit!

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, you're a rotten shit too, get your coat!

  [Alan backs out of the room with Lynn] 

  Alan Partridge : [to Lynn]  Start the car.

  [he shuts the door and goes to another room] 

  Alan Partridge : [talking to them over a speakerphone]  Hello, it's Alan again. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. You can leave via the fire escape. We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? You're listening to Up with the Partridge, A-ha. Bye!