- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy is going through the mail forwarded to the American Express office] Here's a telegram for you.
- Ricky Ricardo: How do you like that! A telegram, and she forwards it in the regular mail. It takes three weeks to get here. Only your mother would think of...
- Lucy Ricardo: [Ricky opens the telegram, and lapses into angry Spanish] Honey, is it important?
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh, no. Only the managing director of the Roxy Theatre in New York, and he wants me to open there with my band for two weeks starting next Monday, that's all.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Ricky decides they have to fly home instead of going by ship] Hey, this is exciting. We're going to fly across the ocean.
- Ricky Ricardo: Who said you were going to?
- Lucy Ricardo: What do you mean?
- Ricky Ricardo: I may leave you right here in Europe.
- Lucy Ricardo: I didn't do anything.
- Ricky Ricardo: Your mother did, and she inherits it from you.
- Ricky Ricardo: Where is the cheese?
- Ethel Mertz: We ate it.
- Customs Officer: You and Mrs. Ricardo ate 25 pounds of cheese? Come on.
- Fred Mertz: Oh, it's possible. I've seen my wife sit down and polish off a whole...
- Ethel Mertz: Oh shut up.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Ricky explains that anything over the 66 pound luggage limit will cost $2 per pound on the plane, so everything but clothes and luggage has to go by boat] All right. But there's one thing I have to take with me for sure. That cheese.
- Ricky Ricardo: That cheese?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yes, now don't argue with me. You can't get that kind of cheese at home.
- Ricky Ricardo: [Ricky picks up the cheese] Are you kiddin'? This thing must weigh 66 pounds by itself.
- Lucy Ricardo: No, it's only 25 pounds. That's a very rare kind of Italian cheese, and I... and I promised to bring it home for a very special person.
- Ricky Ricardo: And who is this very special person?
- Lucy Ricardo: Someone we all know and love... my mother.
- Ricky Ricardo: [outraged] Your WHAT?
- Lucy Ricardo: My mother. And she's a who, not a what.
- Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy. Your mother has already cost me a fortune. And I'm not going to spend one more penny on that big hunk of cheese!