- Dr. Eric Foreman: You really want to screw Whitey? Be one of the few black men who live long enough to collect social security. Take the medicine.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: All this from falling off my roof...
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, if only he'd fallen on his head, then he wouldn't have any of these symptoms.
- Dr. Gregory House: [while going through Dr. Cuddy's underwear drawer] Oh my God... She's got pictures of you in here. Just you. It's like some kind of weird shrine.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You're kidding.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah.
- [Closes drawer]
- Dr. Gregory House: If you're wallowing in self-loathing, I've got something that might help. We're getting sued!
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Maybe we were right to begin with: his problems are all caused by DIC precipitated by falling off of my roof.
- Dr. Robert Chase: DIC wouldn't cause a fever this high.
- Dr. Gregory House: See. My lapdog agrees with me.
- [about Cuddy]
- Dr. Robert Chase: You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty.
- Dr. Gregory House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He has Streptobacillus.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Rat Bite Fever.
- Dr. Gregory House: Boogie-oogie-oogie.
- Dr. Gregory House: Would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. Shoulda seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. *Lot* of screaming.
- Dr. Gregory House: [after Dr. Cuddy suggesting a very dangerous treatment] Looks like Cuddy. Same cleavage!
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He loses that hand, he loses his job. All of his jobs! He's not like us!
- Dr. Gregory House: He can't work as a cripple?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He loses his home, his kid brother drops out...
- Dr. Gregory House: American dream destroyed. Very sad, very emotional. Not one medical fact in the whole pathetic tale. You've lost perspective, Cuddy. You've stopped looking at this as a doctor. You're acting like someone who shoved somebody off their roof. You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right.
- Dr. Gregory House: [searching Cuddy's house for the cause of her handyman's illness]
- [holds up a thong]
- Dr. Gregory House: Does this count as red?
- [first lines]
- Dr. Cuddy's Neighbour: [to Dr. Cuddy, who runs past her house] Good morning.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Hey, Alfredo. You're done already?
- Alfredo: Oh. No, not yet. I have to finish tomorrow.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Mexico playing Argentina on TV?
- Alfredo: [badly breathing] No, no... my asthma is... very bad today.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Oh, six years, Alfredo. You can't lie to me.