Home Improvement (TV Series)
Quibbling Siblings (1994)
Tim Allen: Tim Taylor
Photos
Quotes
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Tim : I do things with both of the guys, you know. Brad and I like to go to sporting events, work on the Hot Rod and build stuff with my tools. Randy and I joke. I make jokes, he makes jokes, we make jokes. The jokes go back and forth. He jokes, I joke, there's a lot of jokes going on.
Wilson : Sounds like you share your jocularity.
Tim : No he couldn't fit into mine.
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Wilson : Well, Tim, I'm reminded of what the Chinese philosopher Chuang Tse said. You cannot speak of the ocean to a well frog, you cannot speak of ice to a summer insect.
[later]
Tim : Well this ancient Chinese ice-cream salesman, Yung Su, found that frozen frogs and wet insects couldn't talk cos they were colder'n one another.
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Brad : [Tim tries to make a heart using the scroll saw] Uh, Dad, that doesn't look like a heart. It looks more like a kidney.
Tim : Well yes it does. Well a heart says "I love you", but a kidney says "I gotta go".
Brad : Well, guess what, and so do we. We'll be right back after these words from Binford.
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Tim : Of all the boys, I figure you and I are the most alike.
Randy : Oh come on, Dad, I mean you and Brad are the most alike.
Tim : We share similar interests, but you and I have similar personalities. If a guy's walking down the street with his fly down, if I can't come up with a joke, I know you'll back me up.
Randy : Well, I mean, you gotta make the fly joke.
Tim : That's right, you gotta make the fly joke. Hey pal, you know your fly's down?
Randy : It's cheaper than air conditioning.