- [last lines]
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Now, Klink, I'm going to try and be calm about this. I want you to tell me in your own words exactly how did the radio detector truck get put out of action?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major Hochstetter, you won't believe this.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: TRY ME!
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: It was a million-to-one shot that the candles would have hit the truck.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What candles?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: The candles from the birthday cake.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Birthday cake? IN THE MIDDLE OF WORLD WAR II YOU GIVE YOURSELF A BIRTHDAY PARTY?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, no. It wasn't for me.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: YOU GIVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A PRISONER?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. My men gave it to me. I'm sorry you missed it, Major, it was a great party. I saved you some cake.
- [Hogan pulls out two pieces of cake from behind his back]
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, thank you, Hogan. Thank you.
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink. You are succeeding in doing, by yourself, WHAT MILLIONS OF ENEMY SOLDIERS ARE UNABLE TO DO: BRING THE THIRD REICH TO ITS KNEES!
- [walks towards door, gives his classical]
- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: BAH!
- [slams door shut]
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Party pooper.
- [Hogan and Klink then eat their pieces of cake]
- Kinchloe: Serve Colonel Hogan German chocolate cake? Would you offer Adolph Hitler an American cheese sandwich on Russian rye?