Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Let me ask you a question about this Shakespeare. Why don't they speak in English?
Richie Cunningham: Oh, it is English, but it's Old English.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Why don't they talk in new English? I don't understand this stuff. I mean, like, "to be or not to be." What's that?
Richie Cunningham: Oh, well, see, that's the part where Hamlet is contemplating killing himself.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: No kidding? You know, sometimes this Shakespeare guy is really with it, isn't he?
Richie Cunningham: Yeah, he is. Yeah.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You know, Hamlet's got it knocked, compared to me.
Richie Cunningham: What do you mean?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Well, my old man took off when I was 12 years old. I haven't seen him since. At least Hamlet's father drops in every once in a while.
Richie Cunningham: Oh, yeah, but Hamlet's father is a ghost.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, a see-through father is better than none at all.
Richie Cunningham: I never knew your father wasn't around.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah. You know, I, uh... thought a couple of times about whether I... I wanted to be or not.
Richie Cunningham: You did?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah. You think a lot of people think about that "to be or not to be" stuff?
Richie Cunningham: I don't know, Fonz. Maybe.