- Rev. John Porter: [Festus and Thad doing some labor for the church] We'll have to think up some payment in return for all the labor. Maybe reserve the first pew in your names each Sunday. Make sure you have front row seats.
- Festus: [after Rev. leaves] How'd he expect anybody to get any sleep sitting in the front pew?
- Paul Wiley: Only a fool takes pride in having his face on a wanted poster.
- Doc: Only a fool gets his picture there in the first place.