- [Ben and Mike are having milk and cake and discussing Carol's latest romance]
- Ben Seaver: So, Carol's going steady with Bobby again?
- Mike Seaver: Yeah, y'know it's really sad. Look, Ben, take it from me: never, *ever* get into a long-term relationship with a girl, because then they start controllin' ya, and that means the end of fun as you know it.
- Ben Seaver: So you're staying guys should control girls or our lives will be miserable.
- Mike Seaver: Exact- . . .
- [suddenly, Mike notices Mom listening from the hallway behind Ben]
- Mike Seaver: . . . -ly, what do you mean by that, Ben? Come on, now, haven't you heard a word I've been sayin'? Look, women should be in control.
- Ben Seaver: *What?*
- Mike Seaver: Oh, yes, they're smarter, more sensible, and more responsible. Look, think of Mom, a'right? Now, she's the real head of this family, and I, for one, couldn't be happier.
- [Mom realizes what Mike is doing, and goes on her way down the hall, satisfied]
- Ben Seaver: So you're saying women should be in control.
- Mike Seaver: [now that Mom is gone] No! How many times do I have to explain this to you?