- Lily Finnerty: [to Sean] You told me Kasey was the name of your dog!
- Claudia Finnerty: That's not entirely inaccurate.
- Lily Finnerty: Have you ever told me the truth about anything?
- Sean Finnerty: Look. This was one of those good, solid lies you can build a family around!
- Sean Finnerty: I wanna show you something.
- [Shows Claudia his new tattoo]
- Claudia Finnerty: "Kasey"?
- Sean Finnerty: You know what it means?
- Claudia Finnerty: Yes! You nailed Kasey!
- Sean Finnerty: I didn't! I was too drunk!
- Claudia Finnerty: This just keeps getting more romantic.
- Lily Finnerty: Oh, my God!
- Claudia Finnerty: Shhh!
- Lily Finnerty: Don't shush me! I was conceived in the back of a Chevy Nova!
- Lily Finnerty: I just found out I'm a bastard!
- Henry Finnerty: Don't worry. Dad says his boss is, too. Oh, and I was, that time I hit Grandpa with a whiffle bat.
- Claudia Finnerty: [Interrupting Sean and Eddie's music practice] Sean, we need to talk. Eddie, can you give us a minute?
- Eddie Finnerty: Oh, no! Sean, she wants to sing for the band! Just so you know, Claudia, this ain't Katrina and the Waves!